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Name: Virtual Station Interactive
Developer: Gameinis
Release Date: ???
Console: Famicom
Today's retro gaming community has it easy. It was within my lifetime that, if you wanted to play a video game of any kind, you had to own the console and the game. If it was a new title, you had to shill out about $20-50 at your local Toys R Us, or hope that Babbage's store a few blocks over stocked it and was selling it for less than 2/3rds of that! And that was just for games that were currently being sold! If you wanted a retro game or console, you were completely reliant on used game stores, yard sales, and thrift stores, where the inventory and pricing was always fluctuating!
Only if you were some tech-savvy computer geek, or one of those new "work-from-home" guys, was the internet available to you, and this was before eBay, so websites created to list retro systems and games for sale were few and far between, and you just had to hope and pray that the list was current, they were in your area, and/or they shipped to your address!
Yes, emulators existed for older(and even then-current) game systems and arcade cabinets, but the internet wasn't in common usage yet, was slower than frozen molasses, and databases to actually find the emulators and ROMs were virtually unheard of. And then, once you had them, you'd either had to have a super-powerful custom desktop you spent thousands on and graduated with a degree in Computer Science just to know how to build, or you'd just hope your $600 Windows 98, 64 MB RAM, 1 GB HDD store-bought machine could boot these up and run them at even half the speed!
Though if you were particularly tech-savvy, you might have been able to install an emulator on an arguably stronger disc-based console like the PS1, Saturn, or eventually the Dreamcast. ...If you heard from a friend who heard from a friend who heard from a friend that you could even accomplish that, plus were able to acquire the hardware and software to get around the lockout and find emulators and games that they could even run.
If you were REALLY lucky, you might have been able to find a pirated console and/or compilation cartridge or early Plug n Play console that contained retro games, usually Atari 2600 or Japanese Famicom titles.
Compilations did exist that contained older games, but they were mostly made for the PC market. Game compilations that WERE made for consoles were usually enhanced ports/remakes built from the ground up to run on the system's hardware, or were mostly select arcade and early-80s console games from a specific publisher.
So, if you wanted to play, say, Final Fantasy games predating FFVII, and you didn't have the original consoles or cartridges and your computer was too "ordinary" to properly run emulators, you just had to wait and hope that they'd eventually release Final Fantasy Anthology, then Final Fantasy Origins FOUR years later! And you could just forget about spin-offs like Mystic Quest*.
*Though who DOESN'T want to forget Mystic Quest?
Today, practically every game is available for every modern system, either officially or unofficially. Not only do we still have compilations of classic games being released(such as the recent Rare Replay and Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy), but services such as the Nintendo Virtual Console, Microsoft Store, and PlayStation Store all offer libraries of both modern and retro gaming available for purchase and play on any qualifying console! And for far less than the $30+ price tags they commanded back in the 80s and 90s(which would have been about $60 in 1989 and $45 in 1999 FYI.)
For people who want to take the less scrupulous route, practically anyone, with a quick search, can find emulators and ROMs online that can allow them to download and play PS1 games on their Android phones in SECONDS! And if your computer's not capable of booting up a Wii emulator, you have one seriously outdated antique paperweight sitting on your desk...
Emulators to run any game on practically any next-gen system are free and available with a few keystrokes. I was playing Conker's Bad Fur Day, Chrono Trigger, Pokemon Ruby, and a whole bunch of other ROMs on their respective emulators on my PC, and that was TEN years ago! When I was in college, I played through the Castlevania series up to Symphony of the Night all on my laptop, and I conquered many a GBA game on my $30 tablet. Even today, I have two modded Xboxes hiding under my bed with hundreds of NES, SNES, Genesis, GBA, Arcade, etc. games pre-installed on them, and I found these just sitting on the shelves of local thrift stores! Nowadays, I (mostly)lay off the piracy, but my point is that, in today's high-tech, fully networked world, we've moved beyond the need for cartridges, consoles, or even physical software to play games, and saying you haven't played a classic game because "you don't own it" is no longer an excuse.
However, even in the days of ready emulation and the gradual dying out of physical releases, there still exist hardcore retro gamers who prefer games the way they were meant to be played, as well as people with huge collections of carts they've collected over the years and don't want to give up. Unfortunately, decades-old game consoles are giving out much faster than the cartridges they play, the hardware to repair them is becoming increasingly hard to find and expensive, and modern TVs are losing the ports to connect these older systems(or the graphics quality just looks ugly on UHDTVs.)
And this is where system clones join the party!
System clones that imitate older(or even then-current) consoles are nothing new to the market. During the rebirth of console gaming with the NES and Genesis consoles, certain markets of the world, such as South America and the former Soviet Union, were passed over by Nintendo and Sega due to legal reasons, hostility between countries, or simply lack of confidence in the market. This is where underground developers managed to reverse-engineer already existing game consoles and create their own variations(such as the Dendy) for these areas, complete with illegal cartridge copies of games, that they sold for a fraction Nintendo and Sega were selling theirs!
Even today, with an ever-expanding gaming market, unofficial consoles and cartridges continue to be produced worldwide. China's video game import ban from 2000-2015 meant a huge boon for pirate console makers, who produced(and still continue to produce) dozens of variations of the Famicom(known as "Famiclones"), while Russia, being closer to countries the Genesis/Mega Drive flourished in, continues to manufacture unofficial Mega Drives to this day.
It's because of these countries and their initial import restrictions that we have so many unofficial and copyright-infringing Famicom and Genesis/Mega Drive games! And, being a collector of the unofficial, I couldn't be happier!
Nowadays, in the face of retro gaming and failing original consoles, system clones have become slightly more "official" unofficial. Most notably, third-party accessory manufacturer Hyperkin has openly manufactured and sold their RetroN consoles, among other hardware, since 2006. I guess as long as they're not distributing licensed games and their hardware isn't exactly the same as classic systems, Nintendo/Sega are comfortable with looking the other way, as is suggested in this article.
There are even official reproductions of consoles such as the Atari, Genesis, NES, and SNES, each containing a wide library of respective games and, in some cases, allowing existing cartridges to be played! ...Or you can be evil and hack them to download ROMs, emulators, and other programs into their hardware.
However, unofficial, trademark-infringing consoles still exist and are available in many, MANY variants if you know where to look. Some are meant for countries that either still don't have an official gaming market or most of the population's income is too low to afford modern systems, while others are more for a bait-and-switch tactic in the more shady areas of developed nations. These consoles will often look very similar to a real system, offer thousands of built-in games(which, in actuality, are usually 10-20 games repeated ad nauseam), and/or brag about "high tech" features that it obviously doesn't contain, all in an attempt to take your money and leave you holding an outdated, cheaply manufactured console that likely won't hold your attention for more than a few minutes. Even if you like the games contained, there's just something about playing them on an ugly reproduction that sucks all the joy out of it...
...But then there's a strange little niche in this category, where they don't simply quickly make a console shell, throw some NES-on-a-chip hardware inside, and market it using deceptive claims and hilariously broken English. Instead, they try for a product that actually sticks out, something that takes the primitive hardware it's packaged with and pushes it all to the limits! A console that attempts what would have been considered laughably ahead of its time back in the heyday of the Famicom family it's replicating. A system like the Virtual Station Interactive!
Now, I'm not exactly someone you'd consider a "retro gamer." I'm not into current gaming, and my newest console is an Xbox 360, but I prefer to play disc and downloaded games on my Xbox than collect and/or play cartridge-based games on the original system or an emulator. Like I mentioned, earlier, older games are available in a variety of different formats, so if I ever do get a craving for a "classic", I can most likely find and play it on one of my current consoles without having to track down a physical cartridge and original hardware.
However, I DO have a rabid fascination with unofficial ports and homebrew games, and a desire to share these gaming experiences with the world. Therefore, I need something to play these cartridges I track down on, hence why I own several Famiclones and other repro-systems. I know that technically, I could play them on an emulator(and get better picture quality as a result), but I want to play these games as they were originally intended on physical hardware(or at least something that closely imitates it) to get an accurate depiction and experience. No save states, no modern controls, no insta-Game Genie, just me, the game, and a four-directional, two-button(not counting turbo/repeat buttons) controller! And the Virtual Station Interactive grants me all of that and MORE!
Now before I FINALLY get to talking about the console, I feel I need to bring something else up.
"PHELOUS DID IT! HE REVIEWED THIS CONSOLE WAAAAAAYYY BEFORE YOU DID! HE'S SO MUCH FUNNIER AND POPULAR THAN YOU! HE OWNS THE TRADEMARK ON REVIEWING THIS CONSOLE! TAKE DOWN THIS POST AND NEVER REVIEW ANYTHING AGAIN! ALSO, I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOY/GIRL AND I STILL LIVE IN MY PARENTS' BASEMENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY POSTING STUPID CRITIQUES LIKE THIS TO GET A JOB!"
Oh, what a shock. Someone else decided to talk about the same console... Yes, people, I'm aware of Phelous' review, and it's his video that led me to buying this console in the first place. But when someone buys the copyrights to individual opinions and new looks at previously-featured material, THEN you have the right to freak out over me featuring something other people have already featured on their respective blogs/channels. This is MY console, MY opinion, and MY overall look at something I really want to share with the rest of the world. ...Besides, if you're so uptight about me reviewing something someone else already reviewed, and you knew from the title that was the case, why are you here?
Ok, now that I got that over with, let's take a look at the console's packaging! ...And what strange packaging it is...
I actually REALLY like the design they went for. It's a blue background(yeah, I wonder why that would stand out to me...?), with a spiral pattern that sort of joins all the stuff on the front and simultaneously draws your attention to the center and to the blurbs on the sides. It really gives it a sense of scope and draws your attention to the other images they've plastered all around the box. ...And each one is deserving of attention.
First of all, the name. "Virtual Station Interactive." At first it doesn't sound too strange for a console, but then you start trying to diagram it. "Virtual" is a word usually reserved for a game or game company, something that actually creates a virtual world, not a physical device like we have here. "Station" works just fine, but "Interactive" is a little redundant, since you'd automatically assume you could play the game system. Unless it's one of those bots-in-a-box that go through game motions automatically, but I digress. "Interactive" is also a word more reserved for game companies, like "Disney Interactive" or "Eidos Interactive", something that would require that word to distinguish what they make. So basically, what they're telling us with the name, it's a game station that's not actually there, but you can interact with it?
...Eh, even that's giving them too much credit. They probably just shuffled some of the more popular computer and gaming terms into a hat and randomly picked three. Let's waste no more time on it.
I really feel for the guy who had to pay $99.99 for this... It's a fun console, as I'll show you, but I think I was pushing it paying $18 for it on eBay.
According to this box, you can play Ping Pong using the stuff included, as represented by this racially-ambiguous guy and his motion-blur electronic paddle
Knocking back a ball that was thrown by this reject from the Dorbees video from out of an old plasma-screen TV. ...Well, if that actually happens*, at least the "Virtual" part of the name will be justified!
*Spoilers: It doesn't.
It's a little interesting that they put in the effort to create a 3D Ping Pong area with their own characters, because that's not quite what the Ping Pong game included with this console looks like...
Also, they had to point out that this is indeed a TV. ...And not a portal to the evil I, Robot arcade game universe.
Speaking of rejected Disney characters from the 1920s if they were CGI images from the 80s, they're all over this box! Here's one wearing an afro, oversized novelty sunglasses, and horribly tie-dyed Hawaiian shirt, offering you the console's controller! ...No thank you. I don't want to know where that controller's been...
There's also one in the bottom-right corner, wearing a soccer outfit(and what appears to be a life preserver around his waist) and either throwing or reaching to catch a soccer ball. He's just jealous. That soccer ball is a better design than he is...
So, what lies can we find and quotes to take completely out of context? "High Definition Graphics and Sound Quality !" ...The outputs are RCA Video and one mono Audio cable... Maybe for 1977...
"Cool Finish Gamepads And Gun!" ...So the controllers are either from a misspelling of people native to Finland, they have a nice surface modification(which is arguable), or they did us the favor of actually FINISHING the product before they shipped it out! ...Which, if it's the latter, would be highly commendable. That's more than can be said for most modern games and hardware. I'm looking at you, Ubisoft and Microsoft...
"Fast Responsive Gameplay!" ...Well, that depends on the game, because, let me tell you, most of the games I use this system for are anything BUT!
"Connects To Any T.V." ...That has RCA ports. I refer you back to my 1977 joke.
"Exciting Games!!" Again, really depends on what you put into the system. And you can tell even they were second-guessing that one, since they clearly quietly added it later underneath the other text and a size smaller. Confidence and consistency!
"Virtual Ping Pong." ...Well, you could theoretically use it to play REAL Ping Pong, but that depends on how long you'd like to keep your system in working order. ...Provided it's fully working in the first place.
"INCLUDES Accessories to play your favorite Video Games." Provided your favorite video games are on Famicom cartridges! Just saying, I can't imagine this thing running Skylanders any time soon...
"just press START." After you've plugged everything in, switched the TV to the correct input, inserted the game, turned the system on, then waited through the intro until prompted to press Start. ...But they appear to be too impatient to go through that process, seeing as how they couldn't even finish "press" before they pasted a giant "START" over it!
"With Virtual Station you can now play INTERACTIVE GAMES without any need of cables." ...You know, besides the cables that power the console, and the cables you use to connect it to the TV, and the cables required to connect the controllers to the console so you can actually control most of the onscreen action. ...Besides that, cable-free!
"FREE BONUS! Contains Interactive soccer, boxing and dance pad accessories." ...Ok, I don't have a snarky comeback for that one. That's pretty accurate. ...Though last I checked, the reverse exclamation mark wasn't commonly used in English literature. Who knows, it might become a trend?
The back contains most of the same blurbs, but adds a little bit more insanity to the pile.
Such as the list of accessories they "Include", which they say are used "For Soccer", "For Boxing", and "For Dancing." ...They don't actually SHOW the soccer/boxing/dancing games the accessories are used with, instead opting for the Tiltable POP Station route and just showing random related pictures they pulled off a quick Google Image search. Though the addition of their smoother "Money For Nothing" avatars automatically means they gave it 100x more thought.
And yes, it's the exact same accessory pictured twice to use with both Soccer and Boxing. More on that when we eventually get to talking about the accessories.
But that's not enough animation test characters from The Adventures of Andre & Wally B, as they included a large one that takes up a good quarter of the back. ...And he wears thick glasses and a stereotypical Asian wig & bun, while holding a Ping Pong paddle. ...I never wanted to know what a computer-animated remake of Breakfast at Tiffany's from 1985 would look like...
"Want to Play?" Sure, but I'm keeping the 2nd Player controller unplugged with you around...
The top lists everything initially included in the box. Console, cords, controllers, etc. ...But even that, they can't competently list! There are FOUR different game cartridges, it's a "Light" Gun, not a "Laser" Gun, and did they seriously just call a Ping Pong paddle an "Interactive Bat"? I dunno what they were thinking. Maybe I should ask the "Adaptor."
The bottom just restates a few of the other blurbs, but adds "The Ultimate Experience in Interactive Gaming !" Can this play Minecraft?! ...I didn't think so...
Finally, the sides list the games included with this system: "Dance Pad", Soccer, Boxing, and Ping Pong. It doesn't mention the multicart, but I guess they wanted their product to stay on the shelves an extra day...
Now that we've finally opened the box, we can see that it contained... A whole mess of stuff. Though it is everything promised on the top of the box, so it has that going for it. And it's nicely packaged in a custom cardboard tray! ...At least, it was, before I packed and unpacked this thing so many times, I completely forgot where everything goes. Que sera, sera.
It even comes with a comprehensive manual on how to use the console and its contents! ...Unfortunately, it's competently written, so it has no place on this blog.
Though they DID manage to spell "Adapter" even worse here...
While there's no mention on the box, system or manual, we can tell from the games that this was manufactured and sold by "Gameinis."
Gameinis was a game accessory distributor located in Hong Kong that was started in 2003 by Savia Limited, a company focused more around health and workout products than video games(which will sort of make sense when we start looking at the included games.) ...At least, I think it was 2003, since the trademark was registered that year according to its article on Trademarkia.
Their website is now defunct, but thanks to the Wayback Internet Archive, we're still able to browse their minimalist pages. ...And yeah, those weird spherical abominations were apparently their mascots, since they're the first things to greet you on the home page...
The Virtual Station was one of the consoles listed in their "Video Game Consoles" section, and I'm glad to see that the version I got is what represents it here. ...Though apparently, there were multiple packaging variations, since that's not the box I received mine in.
They apparently also loved the design of the Virtual Station so much, they used it for three other consoles: the PowerStation 2, GameStation, and the ever imaginative "VideoGames 2."
But then, they really got out of their comfort zone with the GameStation 2! ...Which is a mold copy of a PlayStation 2...
Then there's the more elaborate "PC Kid 3", which comes with a keyboard and mouse, in addition to regular controllers, and boasts that it has word processing, spread sheet, and "mathematics" programs built right in! I REALLY wish I owned one of these consoles, but, unfortunately, the Virtual Station is the only console from them I've ever physically come across. And even that only rarely pops up on auction sites.
If you thought they offered a good number of consoles, their game accessories are apparently too numerous to mention, as that page on their site simply states that they "make third party accessories for all major platform game consoles and hand-held game players." Since I've never found one of these supposedly-many accessories, I guess I'll have to take their word for it.
But if you're interested in ordering from their delectable range of products, two problems. One, they only take orders in bulk, and two, they've been disbanded since around 2010, since that's when the trademark expired. So if you want to try any of these out for yourself, I have four words for you: eBay and Good Luck!
I guess at this point, we need to take a look at the stuff Gameinis originally offered. First, let's look at the console itself. ...And, like their limited range of console designs earlier suggested, things look a little PSOne-y in the house, don't they? The shape, the buttons on either side mimicking "Power" and "Eject", the circle in the middle that resembles a disc tray where you put the cartridge, it's almost like they were trying to trick us or something, especially with that "Station" part of the name! ...But that can't be the case, can it?
Heck, the prototype on the box resembles an original PlayStation even more, with three buttons on top and a fake disc drive that looks even more legit! I'm guessing this is either a similar-looking product they just lifted the art from, or they toned the final product down a little to avoid having to deal with Sony before they could unload most of their inventory. Or both. You never know with these knockoff guys...
Despite the console and accessories on the box being orange, the set I received had the accessories molded in translucent blue, which, given my affinity for darker shades of blue, I couldn't be happier about.
I've also come across Orange and Green variants of this set, both packaged in either the same box design or something very similar. There seems to be no indication of what color you'll get on the box itself, so if you do find a new one of these, it'll be a total crapshoot what color you get.
The Power and TV inputs are just what you'd expect from a cheaper Famiclone: a socket for a 9V plug, and one Audio and Video input. Also an RF socket for people playing on a TV from the Dark Ages.
The controller inputs on the front are the standard Atari/Genesis inputs common with most knockoff systems, so if you have any controller that uses the same plug, chances are it'll work here. ...Unfortunately, I don't have a Genesis nor Atari controller to test the theory.
Speaking of which, here are the controllers for the system. And, in keeping with the PlayStation ripoff theme, they're just mold copies of older PS digital controllers.
Despite them showing an analog controller on the front of the box...
The control pads on these are a little different than the controls on a regular digital controller. The pad is raised, allowing for an almost analog feel to movement. It actually feels nicer than most digital pads and won't blister your thumb as quickly, so point to Virtual Station!
...But point taken away for the nonsensical relabeling of the PlayStation buttons to "A B C D". Since the games that come with this console still ask you to press the standard "triangle, circle, X, and square", this just makes it harder to know which button to press.
As you can probably guess for something that's emulating the two-button Famicom/NES, "D" and "C" are "A" and "B", while the above buttons are turbo options.
Though, if you want a change of pace or to challenge yourself, they left the shoulder buttons, so there's another way to push A, B, and turbo. ...If you hate your fingers...
Since the other accessories are meant for use with the included games, let's talk about them as a bundle. First, we have the Ping Pong game and paddle. The cartridges are designed like standard Famicom games, but with more rounded edges, giving them a bit of a Genesis/Mega Drive vibe. The paddle is nicely built and has red and blue pads on either side, but it does feel a bit "cheapy" and you probably shouldn't use it to play actual Ping Pong with...
But the absolute best part about the controller is that Gameinis included Virtual Station Interactive-branded AAA batteries to power it! Yes! They actually went to the trouble of having custom batteries made for their system, they were so in love with this particular model and setup! It's these little additions that make me LOVE to feature these stupid games!
Though, as you've probably guessed, the included batteries have long since lost power and corroded, forcing me to use regular AAA Duracells. ...I'm still keeping them around for hilarity's sake, though.
You might also notice this little area on the top of the cartridge that looks suspiciously like the Xbox 360/One Home button. ..And this, my friends, is where the magic happens.
After booting up the game and being treated to a logo screen that confirms Gameinis programmed(or at least distributed) this game
We get a rather plain title screen that's just the same image as on the cartridge, while the Gameinis logo scrolls along the bottom to remind us that they're the people behind this. ...Also, the music sounds eerily familiar, and I'm almost positive they stole it from something.
So you choose your difficulty, the length of the match, and either a male/female opponent, and you're ready to experience the uniqueness of this console!
That spot on the cartridge and the lens on the paddle? They're light sensors, meaning that they detect the movement of each other's light to trigger onscreen actions! It's like a super-primitive version of the Wii's infrared detection, or something that takes the NES Zapper's technology to the next level! So yes, this means that they developed a Famicom game that uses motion controls! This is something never seen before with an 8-bit system!
...Besides the U-Force...
...And the Power Glove...
...And the Roll & Rocker-LOOK, it's still cool that they bothered to create games that don't use conventional controllers and they tried for a more "advanced" method, OK?! I gotta give credit where credit is due!
But yes, this means that when you wave the paddle in front of the sensor, you knock the ball across the table. And this is pretty sweet for a Famicom game! ...If it worked properly...
Problem #1 is that the cartridge is pretty picky about how much light it needs. In its default "flat" position, unless you have particularly bright lighting in the room, it won't detect the sensor on the controller, resulting in missed actions onscreen.
If you do want it to work right, try angling the console at about 45 degrees towards the light source.
Problem #2 is that, as with most cheap motion games, how the peripheral moves doesn't actually affect what happens onscreen. You can just wave the paddle in front of the sensor, and as long as it detects motion when the window to hit the ball opens, it will register.
I heard that waving it in front of a light or waving a small flashlight in front of it will also trigger motion, but, like the NES Zapper "lightbulb" cheat, this is debatable, as I could never get it to work.
And Problem #3 is that the game is completely unwinnable. The computer opponent is programmed too perfectly, as s/he'll hit every ball you throw at him/her, no matter what angle or direction it's launched in. Plus, there's no actual way to control where the ball goes, so all you can do is wave the paddle in front of the cartridge and hope for the best. Eventually, the sensor on the paddle won't register with the cartridge, and the computer will score a point. So unless you just want to exercise your forearm for 20 minutes by waving a paddle in front of a Famicom, I can't give high praise to this certain game...
Next up is Soccer/Boxing, with its generic motion sensor. ...Yeah, probably due to the paddle already taking up so much space, they didn't exactly think outside the box for this peripheral.
It's just a little device meant to strap around your knuckles/ankle to aim at the sensor on the cartridge. It's also something that needs to be physically switched on, and runs on a regular cell battery instead of the Virtual Station Interactive-branded ones... Though they did include a large gray button on the top you can press to restart matches, so that's nice at least.
The Soccer game has three modes to it: Shoot Mode, Match Mode, and Technique Mode. ...As well as music I KNOW is lifted from Hogan's Alley! I'm not a fan of discordant 8-bit tracks that unofficial games usually have, but that doesn't mean I appreciate them going to the other extreme!
Shoot Mode is how you'd expect a cheap motion-sensing game to work, in that "motion" only triggers an action that could also be accomplished by pressing a button. You have 10 chances to score as high as you can. Time your kick wisely by waiting until the ball is out of range of the goalie. Sometimes, you'll score a goal.
And sometimes, you won't. ...Still, I can give them credit that WHEN you kick actually matters here. You're not just waving around the controller, hoping for the best. ...No, that's saved for the later games...
Match Mode, you'd think would be the main game. You just practiced shooting the ball and when to shoot, so the game then places you in the center of a Soccer game that was modified to use the same mechanics as what you just experienced, right?
...NNNNNope! It's just a straight-up rip of Soccer for the NES, but with the Home team always set to USA, Away always set to Brazil, and the time set to 45 minutes! The motion controls don't even factor into this game, you just use the regular controller! ...WOW, is that low! If you're going to include a game that has nothing to do with the game you're promoting, WHY EVEN INCLUDE IT?! I'm starting to see why Gameinis is no longer around...
But don't worry. Technique Mode is a return to form. ...And I mean the form that Ping Pong gave us, since it's just another "wave the controller in front of the cartridge" job again... As long as your forearm strength holds up, you can juggle the ball forever...
And that's the same flavor of lazy they use with Boxing, which also uses the same stolen Menu music as Ping Pong. ...Though you do get a good look at Mike Tyson's pixellated mug behind the title!
Just waggle the sensor in front of the cartridge until your opponent falls down. No special moves, no way to block, one opponent, no strategy. You'll be boxing champion in 30 seconds. A hollow victory at best...
It's probably worth noting at this point that the paddle and the other motion device use the exact same sensor, meaning they're completely interchangeable. You can floor your opponent and send a soccer ball into the net using a Ping Pong paddle! ...Try that in real life! Let me know how that works out for you!
Next, we have the Light Gun(or is it "Laser Gun"), along with the mandatory multicart, since the cartridge includes light gun games.
The gun appears to be a straight-up mold copy of the Namco G-Con for the original PlayStation, just with all the buttons removed and the light mechanic simplified. Which, considering this company's obsession with the PlayStation, shouldn't come as any surprise.
The 64 games included on this cartridge are organized into 7 pages, all accessible from a Menu whose title music is a rendition of "Edelweiss" from The Sound of Music. ...Yes, really. Along with the renditions of "Unchained Melody" and "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" I've also come across on multicarts, I think pirates just have a thing for bleepy soul music... Also, I can finally say that those repeated forced viewings of that movie and stage play as a kid have finally paid off! ...Hooray?
The games are your usual multicart, early low-grade Famicom rips. Balloon Fight, Galaga, 1942, Dig Dug, Ice Climbers, etc. Though they do have Contra and Castlevania on here, so that's something worth a short bit of time at least. Personally, I've never understood why you can never find Zelda or Metroid or a movie tie-in or even a homebrew demake on here. If you're going to steal games, might as well go for the memorable stuff!
Or at least one of the educational games to justify the "Educational" point on the front of the cartridge...
Since we all know these games and how they play, and since Nintendo's probably already going to tan my hide with their super strict game footage "copyright" policies for the footage I've already included, I'm just going to play a bit of Duck Hunt to show you the Light Gun.
The Light Gun, put simply, doesn't work. At least for me, it didn't work. I don't know if it's the gun, or my UHD flat-screen TV, or the many connectors I use to feed the signal through my recording device and back to my TV, but no matter where I pointed, even if I was right up to the screen, shots wouldn't register as hitting! Even pointing slightly downwards from the target as Phelous recommended did nothing!
Only super rarely did a shot hit the target, and it was always a blind shot during the Two Duck mode, so I'm guessing either my TV's too new for a light gun to work, or the gun they included is inferior to the Zapper. I'll have to try a real Zapper out one day to fully test the theory.
Finally, there's the Dance Pad and Dancing Mat Cartridge. ...And of all the stuff included with this Famiclone, this is the accessory that really throws me off!
Now, again, things like the Power Pad were around during the time of the NES, so accessories like this aren't that farfetched... But it's still a dance pad a la Dance Dance Revolution, a game series that didn't exist around the time of 8-bit gaming! Heck, music rhythm games as a whole wouldn't become a thing until PaRappa the Rapper, a game on the PlayStation released long after the NES' death throes! I have a hard time accepting the fact that a modern dance pad can even plug into an 8-bit system!
Heck, even folded up, the pad absolutely dwarfs the console! It's like including a bicycle with a Super Nintendo! Some things you just can't imagine together!
And yes, they actually did make a bike controller for the SNES...
The mat's so big(or my room's so small), that I'm not even able to display it in the area I usually reserve for showing things for this blog! I had to move my chair out of the way, and it takes up practically every inch of space between the display area and my computer desk! So please excuse the less-than-professional state of my living space...
The name of this particular Dance Pad is "Dance Station", which just screams DDR-ripoff.
In fact, it's the name of a Korean dance arcade game that also involves stomping on arrows to techno and dance rhythms! ...Though the arrows in that game are diagonal rather than straight up-down and left-right, so either it's a complete coincidence, or these pads are the result of someone buying defective Dance Station pad overstock and changing the connector. Either one could be the case.
The Dancing Mat Cartridge has the best design of the four cartridges, as it's not just a screenshot of the title screen or a list of genres contained in the game. Instead, we get these two anime characters, likely stolen from some program and recolored, standing on a completely different DDR pad than the one included, which is apparently flying given its angle... It's not especially notable, but it's more than I can give the other cartridges...
When you boot the game up, you're presented with a pretty sweet title screen, featuring rotating swirls and fluid rotoscoped dancers, really pushing the graphical capabilities of the Famicom! We're also told this is "GLK Dance"
Which is apparently a game developed by the generically-named Feng Li, as seen in this unaltered screenshot from another version. I've never seen a cartridge, but the ROM does exist and it's appeared mostly on multicarts and knockoff Plug n Play dance pads. We'll probably run across it again in the future.
The game contains two menus: One for a "12-in-1" and one for a "24-in-1".
Both of which are so different in design, I'm almost convinced Feng Li "designed" this game by taking two other knockoff DDR games and pasting them together! This theory is strengthened by the fact both modes share some tracks, almost like they didn't bother to check if the same music is on both games...
Heck, they couldn't even keep track of all the songs in the "24-in-1", as they eventually start listing the same song under different titles! The actual DDR song "Butterfly"(or "Buter fly" according to this game) later becomes "Sprite." So they managed to get a real insect mixed up with a being comprised solely of a single element? Or were they just thirsty at this point?
However, it is almost worth playing through each of the track's "reskins", since the background for each song is completely different! This is how I didn't even notice that they repeated the songs at first, since each instance featured on the the dancers in a different area for the 24-in-1, or a different background design and pattern for the 12-in-1. And, considering the limitations they had to work with, especially to include so many of these songs on one cartridge, they look good all things considered! Though I personally like the "dark club" look of the "24-in-1" more than the "kids cartoon" aesthetic of the "12-in-1."
The game plays almost exactly like you expect from a normal rhythm-based dance game. Step on an arrow when the matching arrow onscreen passes over the outlines at the top. The more accurate you are, the more points you score. And for an unofficial Famicom game trying to emulate a next-generation music series, it works! ...Mostly.
One of the major problems both modes share is that the arrows have to be hit a split second BEFORE they're centered in the outlines above, or it counts as a Miss, so you need to step on the arrow a little before you'd expect to hit it in a regular dance game! Plus, "Combo" arrows don't need to be hit at the same time, so if there's a left and right arrow coming up at the same time, and you time it right, you could hit the left, then the right arrow and gain rankings with each one individually. This just feels so wrong, and can throw off your rhythm if you're unprepared... Still, once you get the feeling of the controls, it's responsive and works relatively well, as long as you're not concerned with 100% accuracy.
There's no life bar or "failure level" of any kind in these stages, anyway. Even if you just decide not to dance, the song plays out with no interruptions. ...And seeing as how I had to go through 36 songs on this cartridge, I hope you'll forgive me that I spaced out after the first few...
I'm not "Prefect", you know!
Or even "Pertfect!" ...And neither are they, if they managed to misspell "perfect" twice...
But it's all worth it to be able to dance to a remix of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". ...Yes, really, this exists!
Considering the Titanic Famicom game I recently featured, I guess knockoff studios just have a natural fascination with romanticized interpretations of large-scale maritime disasters! Plus a desire to put a backing beat to love songs tied into said romanticized disasters...
But don't forget about the portion labeled "Pinball"
Which is literally a straight rip of the NES Pinball game, just with the select screen missing. Admittedly, it's pretty fun to play pinball with a dance pad, but could they give you a little warning that this is a separate game, instead of putting it right next to the first track?!
And that is the Virtual Station and its eclectic selection of accessories and retro-futuristic game styles! ...But there's one more question before we wrap up: Seeing how it's a Famiclone, how well does it play unofficial game cartridges?
Everything loads and plays perfectly! Standalone games, multicarts, everything loads and runs just fine on its hardware. All my cartridges have fit in the slot and it's run each one, besides the slight adjustment issue standard with cartridge-based consoles. And for a collector of physical unofficial games, I couldn't be happier!
It's actually pretty hard to find Famiclone systems for NTSC, since most are made for PAL regions, and can cause major issues with my American TV and recording hardware.
There do exist certain region-free bootleg handheld Plug n Play consoles with Famicom slots, but since the ports are usually on the back, and you're holding the system like a regular controller, it can become quite cumbersome to position your fingers around the cartridge and you have a good chance of jiggling it out of alignment. I'll explain further when I feature one of these consoles.
And the problem with the more popular "multisystems", like the Retron 5, is that most run games through emulation, meaning that if the program can't recognize and dump the ROM image, as is the case with most of these games, they most likely either won't play or they'll be unplayable due to compatibility issues. And multicarts are right out...
Therefore, for anyone in NTSC-land wanting to collect and play physical knockoff Famicom games, the Virtual Station Interactive is the way to go! Gameinis may no longer be with us, but their systems will live on in the hearts and minds of knockoff collectors everywhere!
...Their mascots from polygon hell will make sure of it...
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Design: I can't exactly give the console itself high marks for creativity, since it's a simplified mold copy of a PSOne with a cartridge slot instead of a disc drive. Same goes for the controllers and light gun, though I guess I can give them points for altering the gun enough to function as a Zapper clone rather than the more advanced method actual Playstation light guns used. The dance pad is your typical third-party dance pad, just altered to work with Atari/Genesis controller ports, but it is nice they bothered to include something that elaborate with this system. The cartridges also resemble regular Famicom carts, with the exception of the Ping Pong and Soccer/Boxing carts and their photosensitive lenses, which you probably wouldn't know were light sensors if you didn't find them with this system. I suppose the most creative accessories are the Ping Pong paddle and the Soccer/Boxing sensor, since I am impressed they managed to fit the required electronics in each and still keep a small, manageable shape. Also, Virtual Station-branded batteries! The packaging adds a whole lot more insanity to what is already an insane, ambitious concept, but I don't include packaging scores. So while it's not exactly the most original design scheme across the board, it all works cosmetically and everything functions the way it should. ...At least in how the twisted minds behind this knockoff intended...
Controls: It's a little strange to try and give an overall score to a number of different controllers, but I'll do my best. The regular "PlayStation" controllers work just fine, with the bonus that the directional pad is raised instead of the blister-causing nearly-embedded design the official product has. However, the shoulder buttons are unneeded, and can cause frustration when you accidentally push them while you're trying to play and holding the controller normally... The motion-sensing controllers also work relatively well, in that they perform their function as long as the game is responsive. However, finding the correct position for there to be enough light between the game and controllers is a pain, as the console usually needs to be tilted towards the light source and the controllers need to be waved at a certain distance and in a certain pattern for the game to register. And, like I mentioned, even when all the requirements are met, the game will still eventually slip up and miss registering the movement, usually resulting in the game ending. The dance pad is pleasingly responsive, especially with all the abuse these things go through, and it requires a lot less pressure than you'd think for the buttons to register as onscreen actions! However, it has a problem with registering combos, and you'll more often than not have to very quickly push each direction separately as opposed to the same time, plus it takes up a LOT of space, especially for a guy like me who has to share his room with his office and many collections. Overall, the controllers all work, but the more ambitious variants have glaring bugs that do ruin the experience if played with for a good amount of time. ...Though it's unlikely you'll find enough entertainment value in the included games for that to become a major issue.
Graphics: The graphics for the "homebrew" Ping Pong and Soccer/Boxing games are above average, but they don't quite have the "Wow" factor I found in other "modern" Famicom games, including the Titanic game I previously featured. I like the larger Ping Pong, Soccer, and Boxing opponent sprites than you see in most other games of this type, and they have enough frames to keep their animations interesting. There's also not as much on screen as a lot of other ambitious pirate Famicom games, meaning less annoying sprite flicker than a lot of other games I've come across. The coloring and clarity is much better than a lot of these other games, with a good(but not great) palette of colors other than solid blues, browns, yellows, and blacks, and I can tell what I'm looking at without some sprites becoming in the dark backgrounds. Plus, major points to them for being able to include scanned, digitized images, especially for the screens in the Boxing game. ...With all that said, the images are BORING! They're your typical sports games that lack any imagination and just present the bare minimum as to what constitutes a game of their genre. There aren't any animations that really impressed me, nor any images that showed a good amount of thought, nothing that set these apart from any bargain bin sports game, even for the NES. The most I can give them are the reactions of the goalie from Soccer, as there is a bit of personality to him when he blocks or misses the ball. The slight animation of the cheering crowd also helps break up the monotony. I'm not looking at the multicart, since Gameinis had nothing to do with the production of any of them. I'm also not sure if I should count the Dance Cartridge, for the same reason, but I will say that the arrow scrolling is fluid, the backgrounds are varied, and the animations are impressively rotoscoped given the storage and processing limitations. I guess the consensus across the board is that everything's nicely drawn, but nothing actually jumps out at me.
Music & Sound: All the music is stolen, so I don't know if I can give many points for its inclusion. I guess, since they're stolen tracks, it's nice to hear something that's not the mess of beeps and blips with an annoying bass background common with most knockoff games, but it also gets distracting since you're just thinking about the game that originally went with the tracks or trying to place where you heard the tracks to begin with! ...So it might be a GOOD thing in this case that the music doesn't extend past the title screens for most of the games. The rendition of "Edelweiss" on the multicart is pretty nice, but I don't know if I should include it here since I don't know if they programmed it themselves or lifted it from elsewhere. And again, I don't feel right including the DDR songs since the game wasn't programmed by Gameinis, but I will say it's impressive that they took actual tracks and interpreted them as 8-bit Famicom renditions. And, of course, we can't forget the dance remix of My Heart Will Go On! ...Even if we try to... The sound, what little there is, is a bit of a mixed bag. For most of it, I'm pretty sure they just raided the library of generic menu beeps & blips, with a few "swish" sounds to replicate kicking a ball through the air and the standard white noise to suggest cheering. On the other hand, the Ping Pong sound is possibly the most convincing I've ever heard in a sports-based 8-bit game! It legitimately sounds like they recorded a Ping Pong ball(or something that sounds just like it), and implemented it into the game with minimal compression! That alone scores some major points for how clear it sounds! On the whole, music and sound isn't a major part of these games, but huge kudos to the sound designer for the Ping Pong game!
Gameplay: None of the "unofficial" games hold much gameplay. The Ping Pong game is a very interesting concept, allowing players to physically play Ping Pong with the light-sensing paddle, but the computer opponent is programmed too perfectly and you'll never score a point! The Wrestling game is winnable, but all it involves is just waving the controller in front of the sensor until the ONE opponent falls down for good. The Soccer game has probably the most gameplay value, as there is a sense of strategy and timing to get the ball into the net, but it still boils down to waving the controller in front of the cartridge at the right time, the Technique Mode goes right back to mindlessly waving around the controller, and I'm not counting the lifted NES Soccer section. The Dance Cartridge can be a lot of fun once you work around its clunky input, since it's basically just DDR for the Famicom, but, being a physical workout game, it's not likely you'll play it for long periods at a time. The most fun you'll probably have is with the games on the multicart, or any other Famicom cartridge you can fit into its slot, but since Gameinis didn't have anything to do with bringing us these games, I'm again not counting them. So while the system unlocks a lot of gameplay potential with being able to play physical Famicom cartridges on it, it doesn't offer much with what's already included. Everything included is a novelty to marvel at for a few minutes, then move on to the "real" games.
Replay Value: You'll likely be replaying the actual console itself if you use it to play Famiclone games like I do, but there's no major reason to come back to anything included. Ping Pong, Soccer, and Boxing are all tech demos, examples of what the Famicom can do when pushed to its limits, and that's all they have going for them. The DDR-like game might be worth replaying, and there are quite a few good games on the multicart, but since Gameinis didn't actually program either, I'm not counting them. If you treat it as a physical console, it has a lot going for it, but if you treat it as a toy to play novelty games on, you'll be bored after a short while.
Overall:
"Now wait a minute!" you're probably screaming at me, in whatever primary language you speak, "Why are you scoring it a 4.5/5 if none of the categories even came close to that?!" Because I'm scoring this console based on innovation and compatibility. I think it's incredible what they included with this system, how they managed to pull off motion controls with light sensors, how they got a dance pad to work with obsolete hardware, and how it allows Famicom games to be played on American TVs. Sure, the music, graphics, and gameplay of what's included isn't incredible, and the console is a straight-up bootleg mold, but I'm just amazed that they went that extra step to go outside the norm and put in the effort to give us innovative ways to play Famicom games! It really is something you need to play to believe! Plus, it's my system of choice for playing unofficial Famiclones, as it plays all my carts perfectly! If you're curious what different types of gameplay are possible with 8-bit hardware, are interested in a system that doesn't just straight-up clone a Famicom and gives you interesting accessories, and/or you need a console to play those games you've been ordering from China, I can't recommend the Virtual Station Interactive highly enough! ...If you can still find it...
