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Name: Kubros He-Man
Brand: Mega Bloks/Construx
Model: DPH91
Pcs: 139
Recently, I did a look at all the buildable brick figures that were clearly built to cash in on the collectable vinyl figure craze headed by things like Funko POP! figures. The first line I covered, Kubros, was also easily the best of the bunch, with an original design, creative use of various smaller bricks to create accessories and facial features, good articulation, and an overall feel of collectableness that blew everything else we looked at, as well as most other regular collectable figures, out of the water! It was so good, that I pledged to find and collect every other instance out there! ...Passively. I don't have the cash to go on eBay and buy every single figure on a whim...
I started with looks at The Terminator, Worf, and Hellboy, then, a few weeks later, I found a new set of Aliens' Ripley at a Toys R Us right before it closed. And, given how these are no longer sold in stores and Mega Bloks/Construx has discontinued the entire line, I thought this would be the last time I'd find a set sold at retail.
But, just a few weeks ago, I found this at a local Shopko! ...It was on clearance, but it was still available years after the line left all other superstore chains! ...Then again, anyone who's been to a Shopko knows that it's like stepping into a time portal that transports you 3 years into the past! ...They don't have the best inventory turnover, is what I'm saying...
And, since I'm apparently doomed to talk about every single buildable figure I come across, years after even the most resilient holdouts have given up, let's see how they've interpreted this icon of 80s cartoons into Kubros form! ...Can't look any cheaper than the cartoon, can it?
Nothing to say about the box that I haven't already. The design is the first iteration of this line, which is how the Terminator box was laid out in our initial look at Kubros, with a front view of the figure, a side view with the figure at a 45° angle, a paste of some promotional art that was given a slightly sketch-like look, and a back that reiterates all the other text on the box and shows you the other figures in the range that were available at the time.
But, speaking of the side image, tell me that that headshot doesn't bludgeon you with a sense of nostalgia! Any fans and/or kids of the 80s are probably looking at this right now and screaming in their minds "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL... I HAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!" When you think about it, that's all the show boiled down to, but, really, that's all that was needed!
That, and a giant purple bunny overlord!
While the box has the same design as what we've already looked at, it's good to know that we're finally starting at the beginning of this line, as this is "01" in the series! ...Which probably doesn't mean it was the first produced, given how Mega Bloks seemingly just laid out how many of these they were going to do, then assigned numbers in that sequence to random sets, given how these were released. ...Or maybe He-Man was just so awesome, they HAD to produce him first! ...Can't argue with that!
This is also the smallest of the Kubros I own, with only 139 pieces, compared to the second-lowest at 158 pieces. ...Then again, we're talking about a guy who wears nothing but a thong and skimpy chestplate, so that probably slashed his need for wardrobe.
And, of course, we have a shot of He-Man glaring up at us when we open the box, as apparently, these Kubros don't like to be assembled and want to scare you away before you can even take the pieces out! ...Of course, his expression actually does look like someone painted two saloon doors in his case, which lowers the threat value, but we'll get to that in a second.
This is normally where I make a joke about the "0-3", and how it contrasts with the other age recommendation, but this is just a quick look, I didn't do that with Ripley, and I probably won't do it with future Kubros, so Brick gets a vacation this time. ...If his life wasn't already a vacation, that slacker...
Same drill as usual. Let's put these things together and see just how masterful this Master of the Universe looks! ...Or were the MOTU the villains? ...Whatever. It's still a more accurate title than Star vs. The Forces of Evil...
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And here he is in all his loincloth-and-baldric-clad glory! He-Man's here to ride Battle Cat, fight Skeletor, save Eternia... And look pretty stupid doing it...
I need to admit that I'm not as crazy about this figure as I am with most other Kubros. It still has the basic features that I praised with Kubros in general, especially the arm and head articulation, but, compared to what we've seen already(especially after seeing Ripley in her Power Loader), this figure isn't exactly a shining example of Kubros creativity and quality.
One problem with a character with such memorable icons used in his design is that they don't translate well to a brick set of this size. He-Man's iconic chest armor and cross symbol have been reduced to a red brick squashed in between a few gray bricks, with a brown brick serving as the front of his loincloth.
And a brown plate serves as the back of his loincloth. ...And, seeing as how it's only one brick, and it doesn't wrap around to the front, the color and placement suggest something else entirely. Something I've often been notified I'm full of...
And, for anyone disturbingly curious, here's a shot of an even more naked He-Man. ...They didn't think about figures that don't wear pants when they came up with this leg design, did they? ...Should I be censoring this, or are we happy imagining He-Man fighting with his bells jangling like Robert Zemeckis' Beowulf?
The boots are fine, though. Especially since we're reminded that He-Man's been branded with the Kubros seal, further showing his eternal enslavement to Mattel, Inc. ...As long as Jetlag never animates his show again...
The face is possibly the doofiest of the entire Kubros line, and even worse than Ripley's! It's also locked in the glare that's built on Kubros by default, so it's trying to look badass. ...But the mouth just kills any chance of taking him seriously! I think they were going for a sneer or gritted teeth, but with how long it is and how you can't see any teeth, it looks like his mouth's hanging open with a toothless gumline! He doesn't look ready to defend Eternia! He looks ready for the old folks' home! ...He'll probably get Man-at-Arms' old room there!
The hair looks fine, for the limitations of the figure design, but, for some reason, they included round single studs for some of his hair strands. ...It looks like He-Man's wearing braids or earrings! ...He-Man after a Bob Marley tribute concert?
If I had to choose something to actually like about this figure, the sword design's not bad! It genuinely looks like the odd-shaped middle portion of He-Man's Power Sword, where they thought designing a battle sword with trophy handles was necessary. ...And that that feature should be the one thing to keep across all the incarnations... Still, it's a memorable feature, and I'm glad they kept it for the brick figure.
...However, they built it without a handle. That would normally make sense, as you could argue He-Man's completely obscuring it with his fist, but the way it's placed onto the figure, it looks like it's coming out of his thumb! Couldn't they have replaced that piece with a gray or silver one to make it actually look like he's clutching it? ...He might want to get that looked at. A fingernail that grows into a mythical sword isn't exactly considered "normal" by the medical profession...
They also included his shield. ...You know, that shield he doesn't have in the original show*, yet practically every toy bundles him with? ...Well, he has it here, as well! ...And I can't think of any complaints with this accessory, so I'll call it the best feature of this figure. ...Best INTENTIONAL feature, anyway, since I'm not counting He-Man's chestnuts...
And that was a quick look at the He-Man Kubros brick set/figure. ...I surprisingly don't like this one that much... I guess human characters that wear minimal clothing don't translate well into the Kubros design aesthetic, since nearly every feature about this figure gave me something that needed comment. The clothing's even more barren than what the character wears on the actual show, the face REALLY has the wrong expression for an action figure like this, the hair's a mess, and the sword, while the top half is well designed, looks like it's emerging from the skin and bone of He-Man's hand. Maybe this was the first one to be designed and released, before they figured out what characters would work as a Kubros and what wouldn't. ...Or, since He-Man's a brand Mattel already owns, they just quickly produced a He-Man variant to quickly round out the first wave of sets.
Since this is a quick look, I'm not including my usual breakdown and overview, but, if I did, it would score at least two points lower overall than the other Kubros we've seen. I'll give it credit that the quality's still there, and the design flaws are at least HILARIOUS, but, when compared to the creativity and attention to detail the rest of the line's given us, this, unfortunately, DOESN'T have the power...
It does, however, have the power to shrink Skeletor so He-Man can stomp on him! He-Man's greatest enemy is dead(er), and Eternia will no longer feel threatened by another evil overlord!
...Until Plundor the Spoiler pays another visit...
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