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Name: HD 360 Degrees Rocker Palm Eyecare Console
Developer: BaoBaoLong(originally)?
Release Date: ???
Console: Handheld
The last decade has seen the rise of a whole new market and gaming niche: Smartphones! It wasn't that long ago when phones were used just for doing what their namesake called for: Making calls. That was all they were built for, all they could handle, and pretty much all they could be used for with the network data and hotspots of the time.
Obviously, this wasn't the case with ALL phones. Ever since portable electronic communication devices became a thing, companies had been trying to include other features, or even create all-in-ones! Blackberries, iPods, Apple Newtons, Cybikos, PalmPilots, all were attempts over the years to create handheld communication devices that doubled as portable computers! ...And most of them failed miserably. The technology of the time just wasn't good enough to do anything of value. Features like note taking, email, texting, GPS, music/video playing, and even the rare streaming capability were built into these devices, but in such a jerky, unreliable, impossible-to-transfer manner, that we just went back to our laptops, or scribbled the notes out on paper. It was a world of limited capability and very little cross-compatibility, so, unless you were a high-paid businessperson with money to burn, or the company dedicated itself to conducting business with these devices and gave each of its employees a Blackberry/PalmPilot/etc., all they boiled down to was an expensive, quickly obsolete novelty gadget.
It was worse if you wanted to play games on said portable devices. Since most of them were designed specifically for business and/or communication use, games were more of an afterthought than an avenue to explore, with barely any of the system's already minuscule memory dedicated to running or storing them. If you were lucky, the device had some low-memory clone of Snake, Sokoban, Tetris, Columns, Solitaire, Arkanoid, Space Invaders, and/or Sudoku. If you were REALLY lucky, it would have some other type of game installed to its default memory, or might even have some kind of expansion port where additional games and software could be installed and played!
I remember being blown away that my dad's PDA could play a tiny card packed to the brim with a whopping FIVE Sega Game Gear titles! ...Though all I played on it was Shining Force: The Sword of Hajya. And that was only when he wasn't constantly attempting to use the PalmPilot for work! ..."Attempting" being the word, here. He eventually "upgraded" to a Blackberry.
As phones became more advanced, they eventually gained the ability to download and store more intricate games over a network. This meant better graphics and advanced gameplay, which even led to ports and cellphone-exclusive titles of certain franchises like Kingdom Hearts, The Sims, Super Monkey Ball, Sonic the Hedgehog, and even FPS games like Doom! ...But these were still only horribly inferior ports of popular franchises that were even more primitive than handheld console games, and they remained time wasters and secondary to the phone, text, and sometimes email functions of the phone.
If you wanted an easy way to play a large library of games on the go, the only way to go was to dedicate yourself to a handheld console like the GBA, Nintendo DS, or PSP. This meant buying said console, buying each individual game, and hauling around the games and accessories you wanted to play on your person, which depending on the console, could get quite bulky! When you left the house, available pocket space usually resulted in having to choose between a phone or the console, and you'd likely choose the device that would save you if your car broke down 50 miles outside the city limits. And on the off-chance you did bring your console, if you were over a certain age and were caught playing these systems meant "for kids" in most areas, you were judged and pitied... Especially if you were a twenty-something heterosexual male and the only DS system you could affordably find was pink...
A few select companies did attempt to create handheld consoles with phone and PC-like functions like email, web browsing, calendars, calculators, and even talk and texting, while still primarily being game consoles with large libraries of games. ...But, the less said about the Game.com, N-Gage, Gizmondo, and Tapwave Zodiac, the better...
...But then, around the time the iPhone was first released, something happened that changed phones, and even the face of gaming, forever. Instead of running custom systems, mostly Java-based, that were hard to program for and only mainly serviced the basic functions of a phone, phones began to include operating systems very similar to those used for actual personal computers! Systems like iOS and Android very quickly became the norm for smartphones, and with their flexibility and ease of programming, allowed for additional features to be installed and run on these devices! With these features in place, it wasn't long until digital distribution services like the App Store and Google Play were launched, allowing those with knowledge of the operating systems to make and distribute their own games and applications to the world. And thus, the floodgates were opened!
It didn't take long for developers to realize the potential smartphones had for games and other apps. With the distribution services in place, anyone with that service installed on their phone can browse through and purchase any of millions of different apps. And since smartphones are portable, they don't share the same restrictions placed upon console or PC applications. They don't have to be massive programs worthy of the user's time and money. They could also be much smaller, cheaper applications good for a few minutes at a time. They could be massive games for when the user has time to kill, or they could be pick-up-and-play games meant for the user in-between tasks! This lack of restriction has allowed applications for pretty much EVERYTHING to be made and distributed on smartphones! Nowadays, you can shop, you can chat, you can write, you can read, you can watch different videos, you can catch up on any of thousands of different news networks, you can take and edit pictures, you can do ANYTHING! You're probably even reading this on the official Blogger app on your phone! The sky's the limit as far as these applications go, and it all takes place on that electronic rectangle in your pants pocket!
...Though, let's admit it. More than anything, we use our phones to take ridiculous Face Swap selfies! ...When we're not busy with autotuned music programs and digital fart buttons.
It's this ease of use and creation that has allowed a good number of both major and independent game companies to become millionaires overnight! Doodle Jump, Flappy Bird, Angry Birds, Plants vs Zombies 2, Cut The Rope, Toon Blast, Clash of Clans, Pokemon GO, Where's my Water?, and Temple Run, among THOUSANDS of other games, all owe their existence and success to smartphones and tablets and the various distribution services they've been listed on. ...As well as, of course, their millions of fans who are responsible for keeping their revenue flowing! Whether through a flat fee to purchase the base game with the option to purchase further DLC, or the "freemium" model of ads and microtransactions keeping a "free-to-play" game afloat, many of these games, most of which were initially developed by a small team of programmers and artists, have netted MILLIONS for their studios and publishers. Clash of Clans alone was making $1.5 million a DAY at its peak in 2015! The age of smartphones has brought in a new age of programs, financial models, and ways we develop and play games, and it looks like it may become the future of gaming and computing as a whole!
And I, for one, welcome our new Droid overlords!
As with everything popular, there exist deepwater belly-clinging leeches who want to make $1.09 off the idea without putting any actual work into it. This is PAINFULLY obvious with the dozens of clones and unlicensed other apps that use assets from the game in question that you can find just by doing a search for the game you want to install! ...Most of which are completely broken, outdated, and/or bait-and-switches that give you gameplay a first-time Flash programmer from 2005 would laugh at! ...Provided they give you a usable program at all, and don't just unleash a virus that steals your identity and credit card information before putting your phone into meltdown... ..But not before delivering the message "I tooted in the president's face" to everyone in your Contacts!
However, other pirate developers have opted to take a different, more standard knock-off method to cash in on the popularity of smartphones and their games. Obviously, we have dozens, if not hundreds, of cheap knockoff phones and smartphones trying desperately to make you think it's the next model of iPhone or Samsung Galaxy that's being sold at a fraction of the cost. ...Only to spring an interface that runs either a custom Java platform or the very first version of Android on you, topped off by buggy custom apps that either don't work or that record/play that video in glorious 240p, and terrible call quality on both sides that will likely end in 5 minutes when the battery dies.
In other words, the Windows Phone! ...I'm going to be burned alive for this joke, I just know it...
And then, there are developers that haven't necessarily pirated smartphones or smartphone games, but the CONCEPT of smartphone games, with most of their titles being cheap knockoffs of the general style and gameplay of older, popular cellphone and smartphone games. ...And they've probably also badly ported a few of the actual games, as well.
Like I said earlier, you can find dozens of these types of games just from a general App Store or Google Play search, made by sketchy developers simply looking to catch the unwary and make a couple bucks off of their ignorance. However, there also exist manufacturers and studios who have made these types of games, but not for smartphones. Instead, they've stuck them on dedicated, handheld consoles to sell them as consoles similar to other handhelds like the Game Boy and the Nintendo DS, possibly because they were developed and/or sold in countries without a large percentage of smartphone, or even portable phone, users. And that's what we have today! I've tracked one of these consoles down(which was no easy feat), so let's take a look at the poor man versions of what you can download onto your phone for free!
This little console I found is known as the "HD 360 degrees rocker palm eyecare console"! ...Is that a name, or did they copy/paste the tags from the knockoff console they knocked this design off from? HD? 360 degrees? Rocker? Palm? Eyecare? Console? Only one of those has anything to do with this console, and you can probably guess which one! ...Maybe two...
The listing from the site I bought this from isn't that much more specific, simply using the "tag name" method a lot of third-party overseas developers like to attach to products so they'll show up in search results before the real thing. It's a more accurate descriptor than what's on the box, but it still tells me nothing about what's it's called or who made it. ...IF it's called anything! Hence why I'm just referring to it as a "Knockoff Mobile Games Console" for this review.
There's not much to point out about the front of the box. It's on a blue background, with both sides covered in stolen promotional artwork for games that have no chance of being run on hardware like this. ...I have no idea what they're from, but I know I'd rather being playing them than this!
We also get a shot of the console itself on the right side, which IS actually what you get down to the color! ...I highly doubt we're going to be seeing the latest version Street Fighter on here, though... Maybe the first version...
But who knows what we'll find? After all, there are 788 games built in to play! ...And if we're lucky, maybe a tenth of those won't be repeats!
The other side of the box reminds us that there are 788 games, and tells us that it has a whopping 2.5" TFT screen! ...Which is such an obvious feature for it to have, I'm surprised they didn't also brag that it has buttons! ...But they did restate that it's a digital game system! As opposed to all those game systems that run on an abacus!
We are given something actually of interest in the bottom-left corner, where it tells us that we can play multiplayer games over Bluetooth between two consoles! That's actually an impressive feature for a knockoff console to have! I don't have another console to test the theory, but if it works, I gotta give them kudos! ...IF it works!
The system also states it runs on either a rechargeable lithium-ion battery or dry cell AAA batteries. Which is true! ...If you can get it to run at all, but we'll get back to that.
Also, very important, this is Model 8718. If you think this console is bad, don't get me started on the previous 8,717 attempts!
The back gives a little more information about the system, and reiterates that it's a "digital pocket hand held system". For storage only in digital pockets! Hope you have a connection to The Matrix handy!
We have another picture of the console with the stolen Street Fighter artwork on the screen, diagrammed to include the functionalities of every feature. Up, Down, Left, Right, Power, Reset, etc. It even has a Salt/Pepper button, so if it's useless as a console, at least it'll be a hit at backyard barbecues! ...Or did they mean "Start/Pause"? Probably the latter...
It also shows that, with this console, we also get a USB wall charging adapter, a micro-USB cord, and a rechargeable battery! And only one of those is actually included! Care to take a guess which?
The right side shows us a bunch of random games made into smartphone icons to suggest what you'll be getting on this console. I know for a fact Angry Birds and Plants vs Zombies variants are on here, and possibly Zuma and some kind of scrolling space shooter, but I'll be heavily surprised if we get Where's My Water?, Metal Slug, Donkey Kong 3, Temple Run, or Dance Dance Revolution. The rest, I can't identify, but I'm pretty sure they're not on here. ...I'd love to know what the dragon icon in the top-left is from, though.
They also include the standard Warning that people with strong epilepsy should probably read a book instead.
As well as some "LCD screen nots" that "Due to the characteristics of the LCD, there are some dots that do not light up or that never turn off. However, please take note that this is not a defect."
It's a feature! We get early models of PSP-levels of quality here!
There's another warning on the right completely in Chinese, but it says exactly what you think it says. Namely "Put the batteries in correctly", "Don't use the wrong kind of batteries", "Don't let your kids play this without supervision", "Batteries may explode", and "Chairman Mao is the savior of the universe. May the fires of the People's Republic never be extinguished!" ...I think something was lost in translation with the last one...
We're reminded on the bottom that this product is not "suitble" for children under 36 months(and that these developers apparently don't know what a year is.) However, my favorite part of this box tells us that if the console has "mute sound, slow sound, scratched screen, or dead state", to replace the battery. ...What are these people doing making consoles?! They've discovered a regenerating computer screen! Just add batteries! Everybody who's ever owned something with a screen will pay through the nose to get one of those! ...I would, anyway...
The other two sides simply restate what the console is and its model number
And the various colors these consoles come in. I could only find the black & red color, but I think I got the best of the lot. It's my second-favorite color combination besides blue and slightly darker blue.
Opening up the box, we see that they were nice enough to wrap it in bubblewrap and put it in a nice plastic holder! Considering how much I get from overseas where they just threw the electronics in a box or a paper folder and let them rattle around, this is going above and beyond the typical service from these developers! Now the device only has a FIFTY percent chance of being completely broken out of the box!
If you guessed the cord was the only accessory to come with the console, congratulations! You win it! Come on over any time you'd like to claim your prize!
It's just the standard micro-USB cord a lot of devices use nowadays, so nothing else to go into. ... It's the longest cord if its type I own, so it would have been nice to have when I was looking at the CoolBaby 600-in-1...
We also get this one-sheet instruction manual, where the console is now known as the "Bluetooth 2.4G online combat", which tells us a lot of useless information unless we're playing a game with the two-player option. It's pretty badly translated, but not to the point of hilarity, so nothing to point out here.
Except for this section near the bottom, which states "When the player has sound dumb and sound slow or screen mess or crash, please replace the battery immediately." ...Um, if a player is starting to sound slow and dumb, makes a mess, then crashes, they're having a seizure! I'd recommend immediately calling an ambulance, not shoving batteries down their throat! ...Should have read the epilepsy warning before playing...
Once out of the packaging, we can see the actual console. It looks exactly like on the box, so we're already quite familiar with it. I will give them credit, however, that I've never seen a console like this before! Most pirate consoles either copy the mold of an existing handheld or create a mold so similar to one that it's obvious what they were going for. Here, on the other hand, I can't think of anything it resembles! It's probably ripped off of some obscure console or PDA I don't know about, but it's not immediately obvious, so I gotta give praise where due! ...Not that I'll have much of it for this look...
One thing to notice right away when picking it up is that it's made of REALLY nice-feeling plastic! It's slightly rubbery, with a smooth, untextured surface that fits very well in the hands! The first time playing this, I was legitimately startled by how high the plastic quality is, since nearly everything I feature on this blog has plastic quality ranging from "average and unnoticeable" to "greasy and crackable"! ...The downside is that it's much more easily scratched and it grows fingerprints when you're not looking, but I don't expect to get heavy use out of this anyway, so I'll appreciate what it is while I can.
Like the Vs Maxx 50-in-1 we looked at last time I featured one of these "X-in-1" consoles, we're given two different control schemes to choose from. Unlike the Vs Maxx, they both work! It features a pure analog sliding thumbstick, plus directional buttons that individually press down! Just like the console, they feel nice in the hand and respond to being pressed down! ...Since most of the games are 2D platformers and puzzle games, I'd much rather use the directional pad than the analog stick, but it's nice they gave the option and both don't feel like they're one click away from snapping off!
For buttons, we're given the usual Xbox layout of ABXY. Same colors too, except for where they switched around the placement of A and B. For the most part, it's the usual case where A and B are the only actual controls, while X and Y are turbo functions, but, again, they feel nice. ...If a bit waxy.
The other buttons on here are the On/Off button(which puts the console into Sleep mode), Reset, Sound, and Start/Pause. ...Though going by my Salt and Pepper joke earlier, these are buttons that you need to push. Push them real good!
Top features the On/Off switch, plus the charging port if there's a rechargeable battery installed. However, even without a battery, the console can be powered by a strong enough power source through the included cord, so that's a nice feature if you just want to plug it into your computer's USB port. ...Unfortunately, the area where I display these consoles doesn't have an accessible outlet, so I'm stuck using batteries. As well as a portable battery for reasons I'll get to in a second.
If you have a spare lithium-ion battery, it goes in the back under the battery cover, which is thankfully one of those covers that snaps shut and doesn't need a screw keeping it in place. Sadly, I don't, so I'm stuck using 3 AAA batteries of questionable quality. However, seeing how long the batteries for the VS. Maxx lasted, I'm pretty positive we'll get a full playthrough out of this thing.
Also, the one mono speaker's back here, and it's pretty easy to cover up with a finger while playing. Though you'll likely have the sound off while playing, anyway, so no great loss.
Did you notice something unfortunately missing from the console's build? If you said A/V Output, you already have an idea of the quality the footage will be! Just like the Tiltable POP Station I featured 2 years ago, I have no way to output the video to an actual recording device, so I'm stuck with the guerilla method of placing the screen up against my phone's camera. I'll try to be quiet and keep as still as possible, but I apologize in advance for any focus issues and coughs/sneezes/door slammings you may hear in the background. ...Still, since we're dealing with a backlit TFT LCD screen, I promise one thing this console has over the POP station: You'll see what's going on! ...Mostly...
When the console's turned on, it introduces itself as the 788-in-1, then gives three language options: English, Russian, and Chinese. Pretty handy for a cheap console, and it opens a few other markets in the world. And while I was tempted to see how far I'd get in Russian, for the sake of clarity and time, I went with the English option.
Unfortunately, most of the goodwill I expressed towards this console already goes right out the window when I try to go into the menu. I select the language option, it seems to start, then it instantly crashes and restarts! This happens over and OVER again, until it EVENTUALLY decides it wants to work. All the times there's an obvious cut in the video or I should have reshot some footage but decided it wasn't worth the effort, this is one of the reasons why!
As I mentioned before, while I don't have a lithium ion battery for this console, it still powers on when a source is connected to the top port. And I found that, if I have both the AAA batteries and a portable battery plugged into the console, the screen is much brighter and more vibrant, so that's how I powered this console. And if it ever goes dark during the video, you'll know one of the sources died...
Before we start, because I don't want to constantly sidetrack things when I start reviewing the games, there's one more thing to bring up. While I have no idea who programmed the games or distributed this console, I recognize the startup texts and some of the games, especially Angry Birds and Plants vs. Zombies, from another knockoff console known as the BBL-380.
This is the console Ashens once featured several years ago, which also featured poor ports of Angry Birds and Plants vs Zombies(and which he mistakenly referred to as a "Terminator 1.8"), that was manufactured by BaoBaoLong.
While the internet has mostly forgotten about this company, I found a few sources that stated that BaoBaoLong, or Shenzhen BaoBaoLong Co. Ltd, was a Chinese manufacturer founded in 1997 and based out of the Shenzhen district, much like CoolBaby 600-in-1 manufacturer Shenzhen Renshun Technology Co., Ltd., and Famiclone publisher Shenzhen Nanjing, who published the Famicom Titanic game.
Most of their output were various Famiclones, including ones shaped like the PlayStation family, as well as some electronic brick games and super cheap tablets.
However, they're also known for a line of "original" handhelds under the BBL-380 name, which they may have also programmed for. Depending on the version, they could include anywhere between 20 to 180 games, most of which are obvious ripoffs of early smartphone/tablet games, made to work on inferior hardware. Basically, they were the next-gen Hummer Team or Gamtec.
As far as I can tell, they went bust around 2010, shortly after manufacturing these consoles, so they're not that easy to find. I have found some sites that still list them for sale. ...But only in European countries. To this day, I haven't found a single place a guy from the USA could acquire one of these consoles. ...A great loss to anyone, I know.
But, while buying some random knockoff games consoles to hopefully feature one day, I came across this handheld, and, surprisingly, it contained a good amount of games found on BaoBaoLong's BBL-380, including the ports of the Angry Birds and Plants vs Zombies games! As you can guess, being a fan of Plants vs Zombies and knockoff games and consoles in general, I was THRILLED to have finally found a console with these games that I could get my hands on! ...My excitement has since waned since I've actually played the games, but still, a great addition to my collection!
And now, without further ado, I'll shut up and start playing the console! ...In the next post. Once again, I'm splitting up this look into several parts to make it easier for people with slow connections. And since I already took so much space discussing the console's build and packaging and why it was made, we'll start looking at what's actually ON the console in the next post.
CLICK FOR PART 2
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