Saturday, July 7, 2018

Knockoff Console Corner: Vs. Maxx 50 in 1: 26-50

And now, a final message from Pink Lady:


            "Never stand on your head. Make someone else do it for you!"



25 down. 25 to go. Sanity quickly draining. Let's do this!













26. Matching Tiles. ...Well! I think we found the most terrifying title screen so far! It's an exploding-ball-headed imp-thing, that's looking directly at the player, while MURDERING a sentient block as the one next to it gazes in horror! ...And this takes place in the wireframe world that one episode of The Simpsons did back in the 90s. JungleTac may get many things wrong, but nobody can say that they don't know how to appeal to young kids!













Nightmare fuel aside, it's practically what you expect from a title like that. ...But with a twist. You do indeed match two tiles together, but they have to be in certain areas to be matched. You can't match enclosed tiles unless they're right next to each other, and there needs to be some "line of sight" between tiles to match(diagonal tiles can't match unless they're fully uncovered, for example.) If you get stuck, the game provides a handful of hammers to knock out blocks in the way, but they're irreplaceable, so use them like the golden hammers in the Super Smash Bros. series.













I actually started out doing pretty well, but I washed out on Level 4. Thankfully, this game has a level select, so I went ahead and checked out Level 11. ...What a shock, I couldn't get past that, either. Still, on the whole, this game is challenging and... Inventive? More than I can give most other games on here...













27. Pick Quick. Speaking of uninventive, there's this game. First, you're given a screen where you get to pick Figures, Fruits, or Flowers.















And then you play timed Bejeweled! ...Yes, seriously. You get to play that smash hit of the early 2000s and the granddaddy of most Match-3 games, but on an unofficial console and in an ugly, UGLY color scheme! ...And, that's it! Played Bejeweled, or ANY Match-3 game? You've played these. Now continue playing what you were playing and stay as far away as possible from these... 













28. Towers. ...Well, the title screen certainly looks similar to something we've seen before!













In fact, the game is VERY similar to Challenge 100, only in REVERSE! Instead of making Keroppi fall safely onto platforms, it's time to make him JUMP onto platforms! As he continually moves left/right, you need to hold down the button and time it just right for him to jump high enough to get to the next platform. One degree off, and Keroppi learns what it's like for frogs next to a Florida highway...

This is also a decent game, I guess, on the same level as Challenge 100. ...I just wish they didn't have to break them into two games...













 29. Pet Shop. ...Ok, get this. Despite the title suggesting some sort of Looney Tunes-style game(that was drawn by a 3rd grader in MS Paint)













 This is actually a turn-based artillery tactical game, where you control a cat who launches balls at a dog and dodges balls thrown BY the dog! Think Worms meets... Garfield? Heathcliff? Some cartoon where it's a sassy cat vs. brutish dogs.

This is a pretty difficult game to figure out, but once you do, gameplay is relatively simplistic. The bar at the top under the "VS" represents the wind direction and power. The trick is to throw the ball with enough power that it doesn't fall short, nor overshoot the mark(e.g. when the meter is all the way to the left, wait until the power bar is full to successfully fight against the wind and hit the target.) Just keep track of how much power needs to go behind each level of wind, and you'll eventually deplete the dog's life bar.

There are also powerups represented by those circles under the life bars that cause certain things to happen(throw two balls, guaranteed shot, or heal life) if you trigger them quickly enough. ...I never figured out how to actually set them off, it just seems random, but they're a good help when you're low on health(which will be often unless you've memorized the chart...)













Just keep throwing balls, keep track of what makes each ball go where, and eventually, you'll win! ...And you'll get kicked back to the main screen. Still, that was... Different. Don't uninstall Angry Birds anytime soon, though...













30. Push The Ball. I'd say this was the most "on-the-nose" title so far, but we've already had games called Pipe, Bounce, and Track Ball, so this is one of the more imaginative in comparison...

Anyway, it's air hockey. ...With broken mechanics. The puck will NOT move at an angle, no matter where you hit it. Instead, you need to hit the puck AND press a direction at the same time to get it to move! Otherwise, it just goes in a straight line, rendering the game unplayable, since the opponent's striker won't move until the puck moves elsewhere! It's PONG! One of the first games ever made! HOW. DO. YOU. SCREW. THAT. UP?!













Once you figure out the awkward trick behind the puck, the game becomes semi-playable. It's a very slow game, as you need to score FIFTEEN points to win, and having to press the buttons and directions in sync over and over again EVERY time you hit the puck gets annoying REALLY fast!













Still, if you have patience enough to score 15 points, you then move on to the next round with a different opponent! ...She looks like she was ripped out of a completely different game, but with this console, variety is a bonus!

...Unfortunately, I didn't get as far with this opponent, as there's a glitch where if the opposite side of the striker touches the puck, the game freezes. And I REALLY didn't want to go another 15 rounds with the robot, so I called it quits here. Maybe there are more opponents as you go, but I'm not interested in finding out.














Especially since this is again an inferior port of another game: Shufflepuck Cafe. If you're going to play this game, play the real thing and get functional controls, more animations, and a point.


















Besides, seven minutes of staring at robo-nipples is enough to destroy part of anybody's brain...













31. Pro Boat Racing. Oh hai, Speed Racer! Haven't seen you in about 8 games...













It's the EXACT SAME GAME as Fast Runner! Only now, you're a boat, trying to avoid alligators, logs, whirlpools, sharks, and other sprites I can't recognize... Other than that, EXACT. SAME. GAME!













Though I was able to finish THIS game's first level. Either this game is easier than the first, or I've adjusted to the console's crap factor by this point. ...Probably the latter...












Still, it was nice of Gary from Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow, and a chicken from Link's Awakening to show up to cheer me on!















As well as these two other sprites that I don't recognize, but I'm sure are from some other old Game Boy game...













32. Right Spot. ...We have what looks like a Chao from the Sonic series, with its legs spread apart, in a game called "Right Spot". ...I'm not even going to make a joke. I think that's enough of one...













This is a puzzle game I've seen before, but I don't know the name of. These colored rug-things need to end up on top of their respective colors, but each one can only move directly across from or next to its spot IF there's an empty spot available. Shuffle around the rugs until each is matched with its color, move onto the next stage, and repeat!













I actually managed to complete the first puzzle right before time ran out, and they do have other patterns for each subsequent level. ...But I'm just not interested in this type of puzzle game and I bailed when I solved the first one. ...And seeing as how the rugs look like candy, I'm going to grab some Laffy Taffy before I move on.













33. Attack. ...And the award for the most painfully generic title not just on this console, but of all time, goes to...

As I'm writing this description, I JUST woke up, and I'm not convinced I'm not still trapped between the world of sleep and consciousness with THIS title screen! It's bad enough that it's horribly compressed, but WHAT IS IT?! It looks like Flik from A Bug's Life had his head smashed in by a cymbal, and he's now piloting a plane smaller than he is, with a major exhaust problem, that's racing toward the player as fast as it can, ready to eat them! ...Or is the Flik abomination actually standing on the plane with two limbs connected directly to the underside of its head? Or does the plane have a large, sentient mushroom growing out of its pilot seat? Or was that not Laffy Taffy I ate...?













 Anyway, the game is Space Invaders. ...Yep. In the same year as Pokemon FireRed/LeafGreen, Final Fantasy XI, Manhunt, Doom 3, Pikmin 2, Fable, The Sims 2, Star Wars Battlefront, Katamari Damacy, EverQuest II, and Half-Life 2, we were still getting standalone repackagings of one of the first games ever made that were trying to compete with newer consoles...













At least I can say it's not vanilla Space Invaders. There ARE powerups to collect that make each stage easier. Clocks to briefly stop time, lightning to give you more shots, orange symbols to make the bullets more pronounced, etc. It's just enough to keep the game from getting too monotonous. ...Doesn't excuse the fact that it's SPACE INVADERS, though...













It's even a game I ended up fully completing! Each level layout was different, so I decided to keep playing to see what happens, and, after 9 levels, I was presented with a "VICTORY" screen, and my score on the High Scores table! So this is another rare occurrence of a game on this console that's technically complete AND completable! ...And it's SPACE INVADERS they put that effort into! Ok, I've kicked that dead horse enough. Next game...













34. Big Rig Racing. Speed Racer's back! And driving a truck! Go, Speed Racer! Go, Speed Racer! Go, Speed Racer, JUST GO!













It's ANOTHER clone of Fast Runner, except you're driving a truck and the roads aren't straight. ...What else can I say by this point?













Like Fast Runner, it's unwinnable! Obstacles are placed in the WORST, unavoidable places, where the truck will CONSTANTLY crash into them, then have a hard time righting itself, wasting valuable time and fuel! Even if you know these are going to be here, there's only a VERY thin space to squeeze through, one that you're very unlikely to position yourself in given the time you have to react... Not to mention the other truck racers that randomly pop up and further block your way throughout the race! You'll be lucky to make it a quarter through before every drop of fuel is drained from your tank...


















On the whole, it's as playable as the OTHER game that also incorporates "Big Rigs" and "Racing". ...Less funny, though...













35. Safety Watch. ...I know what I'm looking at this time, but... WHY am I looking at it? You have a box-shaped robotic dog from the 1930s standing in front of a sunset, while a silhouette of a city looms in the background. ...Not what I expect from a title that suggests I'm part of the Neighborhood Watch, or "A Day In The Life Of a School Crossing Guard"... ...More like "Terminator 6: Now Skynet's Resorted to Dogs!"













The game plays similar to Frogger, only the goal isn't just to get to the other side without being run over. Instead, you guide robo-pooch here along and across busy lanes of traffic, collecting keys to unlock the doors on the other side! However, you can only carry one key at a time, so after unlocking one door, you need to head back out into traffic and grab the other key(as well as the red speed-up boots, which are essential to outrunning the traffic.) Repeat until your path is clear and the robot dog can go... Help the Doctor fight off the Daleks, I don't know.

This is another game I found myself liking. How you need to guide the dog around the screen, narrowly avoiding traffic, timing your runs to grabs the needed keys, keeping an eye out for the all-important red boots, it's surprisingly fun, and another game I could see as an actual arcade classic! And this time, I can't find any evidence that it's an inferior JungleTac port! I think this might be the only fun "original" JungleTac game on this console!













Unfortunately, what keeps this game from being slightly above decent is that it's the same level over and over... No layout changes, no car switches, no increase in keys, no added hazards, it's just the same thing each time you complete it. ...Still, for an original JungleTac game, I can give it the prestigious honor of saying that I'd play it again. Congratulations, JungleTac! I have to give you one for this game! ...Really outweighs the 34 previous, doesn't it?


















36. Rollem'. First, there was a 1981 arcade game called Make Trax. It sort of played like Pac-Man, where the goal was to "paint" the entire stage, while avoiding two "fish" that ran around the maze and chased the player.
















Nine years later, the game was bootlegged to create an unofficial Famicom game known as "Brush Roller", which might be more well-known by its hack name "Bookyman" for the infamous Caltron 6-in-1 NES cartridge.













And a few years after that, JungleTac created their own version of Brush Roller, simply called Rollem'(or sometimes "Paint Master"). ...So this is a clone of a clone(possibly of a clone) of a Pac-Man clone! And the one thing everyone forgot to do while constantly bootlegging this game? MAKING IT GOOD! The arcade game is mediocre, the bootleg is mediocre, and the bootleg of the bootleg is mediocre. Skip this game and play Pac-Man!













37. Road Builder. ...Presenting the most BORING concept for a game EVER! Which you can immediately see by the title screen, that simply depicts a crane in front of a pink background. ...I don't know how you make this concept look exciting, but they didn't even try...













The gameplay's slightly similar to Pipe Mania, in that you need to connect one end of the road to the other, in order to get the car across. However, while that game keeps things exciting by having a wide array of puzzles and a clear time limit, this is BORING! You're given a fixed number of different road section on the bottom, and it's your job to organize them into a road that'll get the car rolling. However, the road requires almost all of the pieces, and it takes SOOOOO LOOOOOONG to organize and reorganize the sections into a connecting path! If the pieces needed were decreased, and the maze made a little smaller, maybe this could have passed as a decent children's puzzle. As is, it shares only one thing with traffic: You feel yourself aging with each passing second you're stuck in it...













38. Egg Catch. You control a hand with a frying pan at the bottom of the screen, trying desperately to catch eggs that are being laid in midair by these pink birds. If you can catch enough eggs to finish the level, while avoiding bombs that are also laid by the birds, you get to progress to the next level, with a slightly higher goal each time!














...JungleTac's not even bothering to port whole games at this point! This is a straight-up rip of a minigame from the obscure platformer Panic Restaurant, with minor cosmetic differences(they didn't even bother to change the sprites...) Except while that's just an optional minigame sandwiched in a pretty decent platformer, it IS the game here! So if you've ever wanted to play this hard-to-control minigame over and over again, without having to worry about such things as quality or effort, here you go! Smack yourself in the face as you play, as you apparently love causing yourself pain!




























39. Flying Targets. ...It's a straight-up rip of Skeet Shooting from the NES Track & Field game. Like that game? ...Well, play that game, then.













40. Dragons. It's a Snake clone. Guide the"dragon" around and eat the balls of fire to grow larger. Grab enough to finish the level, and try not to bite yourself...
















 It's not even an original Snake clone, as it's just a hack of Fire Dragon for the Famicom. JungleTac couldn't be bothered to create a game too simplistic to be considered an assignment for Basic Game Programming?! ...Ssssssssshame on you!













41. Solitaire. Exactly as the title says. It's the classic card game Solitaire, which is REALLY not needed on a game console! Especially since this version already has all 52 cards dealt, so if you can't put one card on top of another, you're stuck, and you have no other option but to reset the game... If they can't program SOLITAIRE, it's no wonder they had to resort to stealing other game codes!

Speaking of which...



















42. Trophy Fishing. ANOTHER game ripped straight from Panic Restaurant, where you're grabbing fish that fly out of the water. And while it's kind of fun on sheer ludicrousness alone, it's again a game you should just play on the real thing! Better control pad, at least...


















43. Golden Arrow. ANOTHER game ripped from Track & Field. Shoot arrows, hit targets. Not fun on the original game, not fun here. NEXT!













44. Grass Cutter. FINALLY another original game from JungleTac. And it's MOWING THE LAWN! You control this guy with a lawn mower, and you cut the grass before time runs out. ...THAT'S IT! No obstacles, no powerups, no upgrades, just mow the lawn! Sometimes a cloud comes along and makes a patch of grass instantly grow, but besides that, you're cutting the grass!














This sort of game was released in 1988 for the ZX Spectrum computer AS A JOKE! Apparently,  JungleTac is so desperate for ideas, they'll remake ANY game, regardless of intent! ...This is such a bad idea, even for the level of games we've seen so far, my brain hurts trying to make sense of why this exists!













Just go mow a REAL lawn! You'll get some exercise, some sun on your skin, and possibly get paid!
















Or at least play the version in Bully. Because that's part of a great game, and not its own game...













45. Big Workload. ...Gee... With the title screen being comprised of boxes, I wonder what game this'll be...?













Oh, of course! It's Sokoban(or Boxxle)! A puzzle game required by law to be on EVERY electronic device from the PC to the Game Boy to TI-84 Calculators! ...And, as is also law, it must be ignored by anyone who owns a copy. Therefore, I'm ignoring this game and going to the next one.













46. Sea Hunt. Another game that's on everything, especially cheapo knockoff games and LCD consoles. You're a battleship, you drop depth charges on everything beneath you, and you avoid stuff being fired up at you. ...That's it. It's a reverse Space Invaders.


















If you've ever wanted to play a battleship game that'll make you appreciate everything else with a Battleship name, this is the game for you!













 47. Snood. ...Well, the title and card both have my attention... The card depicts a large face, that borders on blackface, looking through the "OO" in "Snood", as various Halloweeny icons litter the screen. So is it a horror-themed shooter? Platformer? Their attempt at survival horror?













No. It's actually a very poor clone of Bust-a-Move, with terrible graphics, janky controls, and virtually no way to determine where a shot will land. Of all the clones I've played of Bust-a-Move, and I've played MANY, this is probably the worst...

















This is ANOTHER game that JungleTac straight-up ripped for their console. ...Except it's a little stranger here. Snood(yes, they didn't even bother to change the title for JungleTac's version) was a shareware game first released in 1996, that's seen a few iterations over the years(including a GBA port in 2001.) And in 2009, it was considered one of the "Top 10 Things On The Web To Make You Happy." ...And despite its popularity and being around for over 20 years, this is literally the first time I've ever heard of it... And I spent a lot of my childhood playing obscure puzzle games on MSN!






This port of Snood is so shameless, it not only displays the original name, but it even keeps the web address for the game!














Which is still up and running to this day! So there you have it. Play the real thing of Snood for free, and don't bother playing JungleTac's cheap reproduction you unfortunately paid money for...













48. Snood Towers. Another game in the Snood series, and another that blatantly shows where they stole this from.













However, instead of a Bust-a-Move clone, it's a clone of a Match 3 game that I don't remember the name of, but was installed to every single computer in the 90s. Click on a bunch of 3 or more, and try to clear the screen without running out of moves. ...You can play this on a calculator nowadays. No reason to hog the TV with this version...













49. Super Surfing. You're surfing on the most disorganized beach in the world! Not only are people swimming straight at you, but there are kayaks, swimmers, pool floats, seagulls, and bags of money all defying the laws of physics and swimming against the wave just to knock you off your board! And there are SO many, and they come SO fast from all sides of the screen, you're lucky to last more than 10 seconds in this game... It's a bigger wipeout than Surf's Up 2: WrestleWaveMania!




 












50. Puzzle Fun. The FINAL game on this console! ...And it's another straight-up rip of another game. There's an unlicensed game for the NES called Wisdom Boy, where you need to take shapes that you're given and organize them to fill an empty space. ...And, that's it. 80 straight levels of figuring out which shape goes where in the hopes of seeing a Middle-Eastern kid brought back to life by a bag of gold(I'm not kidding!)













Of course, JungleTac doesn't have time to add anything onto what's already a perfect video game, so they cut out the ending. ...In fact, they didn't have time to port the entire game, so they left out the last 26 levels! So not only are you getting a VERY boring game, you're getting HALF of one with all imagination literally cut out of it! Just download one of those Picture Puzzle games onto your phone. They're cheaper than this console, and a LOT more rewarding...

And THAT was all 50 games contained on the Vs. Maxx 50-in-1 Console! ...And, I have to admit, I have a bit of a different opinion about the games on here than I once had.











...Oh, don't get me wrong! These games are bad. Horrendous, even! ...But the worst I can say is that they're bland and boring. I've both seen and played games that are one massive glitch, where you're constantly put into unwinnable situations, or the game simply crashes after a point and won't let you progress. These games are at least competent enough to avoid (most)game-breaking glitches, and to put the player in winnable situations(even if the difficulty makes them near-impossible to beat...)














Honestly, if you want the worst games ever made, check out compilations like Action 52, Cassette 50, and Don't Buy This, all of which contain the most incompetently programmed, unplayable, boring, ugly, crash-prone games ever put to media! Compared to these games, the Vs. Maxx could be considered Rare Replay. I've seen much worse from when I first featured consoles like the Vs. Maxx, and I can't say that they're the worst I've ever played.













 ...That said, these games are still god awful! All because they're competently made DOESN'T excuse how mind-numbingly BORING most of them are! Most are simple racing or puzzle games, many of which are based off the same sources, and very few of them extend past a level! Even the ones that do end after a point just kick you back to the menu, leaving you feeling like you've completely wasted your time, which you HAVE!













I was going to give it credit for the good games on this console, but nearly every "good" game on here is a bad port of an already existing game, dumbed down by a lazy pirate company! So even the good games are inferior, and better versions can easily be found! And even if the console contained the complete, unaltered versions, is it fair to credit them for someone else's work?

So even if these aren't the worst games I've ever seen/played, they're still on the list for sheer uninspired bare bones gameplay, and this is still one of the WORST consoles I've ever played for having to make me sit through and play 50 of them! Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better put this console where it'll do the most good.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Design: The console looks like a typical controller, with 4 buttons, 2 directional pads, and a Start and SelectReset button. It's very nearly a Dreamcast controller mold, just with a bit of the top cut off and some of the buttons relocated. Besides the design not being particularly original, the body is flimsy, made of VERY cheap plastic that feels like it'll crack under the slightest bit of pressure, with buttons that have already started to wear out and analog controls with springs ready to snap! I guess I can give it a few points for the large steering wheel in the center, as that is an interesting way to control the LARGE number of racing games on here. ...But even that's easily broken, and it makes holding the console awkward when you're NOT using it. The only point of praise I can give this console is that I can tell it apart from most other Plug n Plays out there. ...Namely because other Plug n Plays are outrageously designed, and this can be recognized as instant garbage...


Controls: The thumbstick is broken and unresponsive, the directional pad is spongey and barely gives any touch recognition to which direction you're pushing down on, the buttons are laid out in a weird diagonal pattern where you can end up pushing one thinking it's another and they're given no recognizable shapes that match the prompts onscreen, the racing wheel is large, awkward to hold, and easily broken, and the Start/Reset buttons are so small and smushed right next to each other, that you can easily press Reset instead of Start! ...If you couldn't catch my subtlety, I'm not a fan of this layout...


Graphics: The graphics for most of these games are absolute GARBAGE, even for the good games. Like I mentioned, the designers were in love with ugly browns, blues, pinks, oranges, greens, and a lot of other solid colors that hurt the eyes after a while, and make it hard to distinguish foreground sprites from background elements. Most sprites are tiny and compressed, making it hard to tell what you're even looking at, and what you CAN recognize falls into an uncanny valley of trying to be cute, but coming across as terrifyingly ugly...  The title cards especially look slapdash, like they took a few images, quickly pasted some other images and text over them, and compressed them to the point they're basically jagged boxes. I can't tell what most of the images are, or what they have in relation with the game. And what was with this console's love of Speed Racer?! This may be the first console that optometrists would recommend to people! ...Mostly because it keeps them in business...


Music & Sound: Again, PURE GARBAGE! All the music is tuneless drek that's comprised of random beeps and blips that just try to convey the bare minimum of a "mood." ...No specific mood, just a "mood", something generic enough that can be used across all these games, is painful to listen to while playing said games, yet is instantly forgotten once the game is over. Most of the games are silent, save for a standard cheery "blip" noise when something's picked up/dropped/used, and occasionally when the player jumps or an enemy is destroyed, and an explosion noise when something's destroyed or stunned. Besides that, everything is almost eerily silent! ...Or it would be, if you didn't have that terrible, TERRIBLE score in the background! This is a console I'd recommend playing entirely on Mute. ...If you're dumb enough to play this console in the first place!


Gameplay: Due to how many games are on here, I'm once again judging this category based on how much you'd want to play this library. ...You don't... Most of the games on here are standard puzzle and racing games, most of which are ripped off from other games or even cloned from each other! The racing games are simply "get to the end before time runs out", and repeat the same one level over and over again, while most puzzle games are so basic and bare minimum, you could find them on a dollar store LCD electronic game, or even download them onto your TI-84 calculator. The ones that try to do something a little different are either boring and unplayable, or straight-off ripoffs of either sections of games or entire games! You can find the ROMS for the games they downgraded to fit on their console with a quick Google search and play them on any NES emulator, so you're getting the full, FUN experience! Most of the games on here, I couldn't complete due to an overabundance of unavoidable obstacles, or they simply didn't end, playing the same level(s) over and over again! And those that DID end simply kicked me back to the main menu, not even leaving me with a sense of accomplishment! Like I said, the only bit of praise I can give these is that they're functional. They don't crash, the controls are responsive(most of the time), there are no impassable sections, and the odds are in the player's favor. I've seen/played a LOT of games that were so incompetent, you couldn't even call them games, which I can at MOST address the games on this console as! ...But if that's the only defining characteristic of this library, that's not enough to justify ONE game, let alone 50 of them! I regret playing this console as long as I did, and I wish I had those three hours back!


Replay Va-NO!


Overall:


This is one of the most worthless things I've ever played in my LIFE! The graphics, music, and controls are a JOKE, the design is ready to crack in half if you so much as look at it, and the gameplay for EVERYTHING is SO monotonous and/or uninspired, they're just barely games! The ONLY good thing I can say this console did for me is introduce me to some obscure titles they've downgraded, ones I might have to seek out on their original platforms and try the full thing out for myself! Besides that, NOTHING! These are troll consoles, systems built entirely to trick the consumer into buying a large library of games for a reasonable price, then leaving them with a library of GARBAGE! Heck, if they had just filled the console shells with literal, oozing garbage, there wouldn't be any difference in quality! Literally ANY other game you'll come across(that doesn't instantly crash) is better than anything on this console, and those few good games are better off played as their NOT JungleTac counterparts! If you see this console, STAY AWAY! In fact, if you see one, BURN IT! Don't even give a reason! Just tell whomever's stupid enough to ask you why "You'll thank me later!" These consoles do NOT deserve to exist, and we shouldn't let the people who created them have ANY attention! ...Besides the attention I just gave them in this, my longest review yet. ...Dammit...

And there you have my first foray into the world of pirate Plug n Play consoles. ...And we're NOT done! Not by a long shot! Though if we come across a similar library to this in the future, I might not give a complete review of it. The outcome's just going to be the same as this console, so why bother giving a full overview again? So unless the library is DRASTICALLY different, any future looks will just be a list of the games we haven't looked at yet, plus some links back to here for any games we HAVE encountered. ...But believe me when I say that, if I have my way, the next look won't be for a long, LONG time!

In fact, what were we talking about before I had to sidetrack us into this world? Knockoff BrickHeadz? ...Well, might as well get back to that. The worst in that category is at least hilariously bad...

No comments:

Post a Comment