"To build a 1:1 scale of the Eiffel Tower with our toenails?"
"To learn where babies come from?"
No, it's time for the new Star Wars movie!
I think it's safe to say at this point that Disney is more than ecstatic that they bought Lucasfilm. It was an already unbelievably profitable company with a legacy spanning decades, and now that they've resumed the movie universe, that means an extra billion-or-two for them each December just in box-office revenue!
Plus, Disney has recently made a deal to purchase FOX, so that might mean we'll actually get that classic 20th Century Fox John Williams theme that fades into the Lucasfilm logo again! ...The nostalgic tension is so thick, you could cut it with a lightsaber...
In my opinion, I thought this most recent Star Wars movie was one of the best, if not THE best. The effects were incredible, the story and characters were well fleshed out, and it had a LOT of fun playing with classic Star Wars and movie tropes in general! Every time you thought something predictable was going to happen, they threw you for a loop. Nearly EVERY SINGLE TIME! And yet, it still felt like Star Wars, with its deep mythology, its use of powers and characters, and subtle nods to other movies in the series. Without giving anything away, a throw away easter egg joke from the first movie released becomes a symbol in this one! So whatever Disney's doing with the Star Wars franchise, if they can continue to make movies as good as this was, they might just outdo the Lucas-man himself!
Now, unfortunately, as I pointed out last time, the days of Plug n Play games seem to be dead and gone, so no Plug n Play games or anything similar have been released based on the recent movies. That means that I get to reach into the Plug n Play box and dig up one of the many Star Wars self-contained consoles that HAVE been released! Because, hey, it's Star Wars! Does it really have to be based on a recent project to be relevant?
Unfortunately, after I fixed the first problem of how to even play this game by finding an older CRT television, the next problem that emerged was that, if I plugged the console into my capture device, then fed the signal through the various connectors I use to record the footage and display it on my TV, it resulted in enough of a delay that the gun couldn't follow the onscreen action, resulting in the sync being completely lost and shots flying everywhere BUT where you aimed. Plugging the console into the TV itself, it works just fine, but the CRT TV I own doesn't have an output, so until I find one that I CAN output the signal from, consoles like this will have to wait.
Instead, from the depths of the box's randomness, I bring to you what is probably the first ever foray into Star Wars Plug n Plays: the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith consoles! ...Yes, plural. I'll explain in a minute.
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Game: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Developer: Jakks Pacific/Griptonite Games
Release Date: 2005
Genre: Arcade/Platformer/Shooter
Today, we're going all the way back to the beginning of Star Wars TV Games with the Revenge of the Sith consoles! ...And once again, no, I didn't plan this to sync up with anything. I just grabbed the first Star Wars Plug n Play I could find after the Clone Trooper game fell through.
As I explained in the Star Wars The Original Trilogy review, there's no comprehensive or chronological list of all the Plug n Play Star Wars games, so I don't know for certain if these were the first. However, all available sources indicate this came out in 2005, and since I can't find any similar consoles that came out before that time, I'm going to reasonably guess these were the first released.
And for their first outing into the world of Plug n Plays, they were a bit determined to not only make an impact, but keep it around for as long as possible! I've found so many variations of this one game pack, it borders on the absurd!
First to be released was the Darth Vader design, where they plastered Darth Vader's mug on the front of the controller so he can judge you unworthy as you play.
Creatively, they also made the Power and Pause buttons part of his chest plate. ...I've always wondered what would happen if you pushed the buttons on that thing. ...Or what it even does. I mean, if it regulates his breathing or keeps his life-saving electronics together, then just force-push them all and end him! ...And with a single sentence, I just cut Vader's coolness factor in half, didn't I?
Unlike later models, this one doesn't have a GameKey slot. ...It does remind you who made this console, though.
Because I guess the name on the back wasn't enough...
This certain console would later be rereleased in packaging toting it as "Star Wars: Classic Battles." ...Though, as far as I can tell, that's the extent of the changes, as it's still the exact same original console and the menu screen still says "Revenge of the Sith." ...And they have the wrong game picture in their promotional art here...
I guess it's the equivalent of a low budget movie changing titles with every distributor.
But then, around the same time as the original console, they released a trio of consoles WITH Game Key slots. I own two of them: Yoda and the harder-to-find Grievous console. Each has a different faceplate and button design, but basically the same body and button layout.
There's also an R2-D2 version, which I haven't come across yet. And, seeing as how they're all repackagings of the exact same games, I'm not exactly actively searching for one either.
The only difference between each console's build is that they switched around the positions of On and Off for the Yoda and Grievous consoles, gave the R2 console its own vertical switch, and changed the position of the Pause and light for each one! ...I really don't know why, since it looks like that area could fit on any of the designs they went with, but I guess they were trying to make it less obvious it's the same game all three times...
And THEN, just to top it all off, they rereleased the original Darth Vader design later as a WIRELESS console, only this time, with Game Key functionality! So, in total, that's SIX different repackagings of the EXACT SAME GAMES! Even the Atari Flashback series at least adds on a few games with every incarnation! This is just... Desperate! ...I love it.
For the purposes of this review, I used the Grievous mold, since it had GameKey compatibility and the thumbstick on my Yoda console was a little sticky. Plus, I gotta give this oft-overlooked Star Wars villain another time to shine.
Now before I actually start showing game footage, there's one more thing all these consoles have that's noteworthy: ACTUAL FREAKING ANALOG!
This is literally the first time I've featured a Plug n Play console that uses analog control! I mentioned in the Star Wars The Original Trilogy game review that that was the most near-analog control I've ever come across, despite clearly using about a dozen digital switches.
This one, on the other hand, legitimately feels like potentiometers are used for movement, resulting in very smooth, fluid onscreen control. And this on the FIRST Star Wars console made! ...However, it also feels like a cheaper analog thumbstick, where you can hear a clicking noise like the springs are about to snap, so that might be the reason they switched to purely digital movement with later consoles.
If I'm wrong and it DOES use digital control, I apologize. I play games. I don't take them apart*.
*Usually
This is yet another Jakks Pacific "Plug It In And Play" console, which should be a familiar face by now on this blog.
The guest programmer for these games is one that I mentioned briefly in the last Star Wars Plug n Play review: Griptonite Games
The story behind Griptonite Games is a confusing one. In the beginning(aka 1986), there was a game company called Realtime Associates(which is apparently still around, despite the website not being updated since 2014), which made a number of games(mostly sports and simplistic and/or educational licensed titles) for pretty much every early 8 and 16-bit console.
Including a good number of Sega Pico titles! ...I guess somebody had to be tied to that project...
In 1994, they opened a division in Seattle, Washington, which was eventually bought by KnowWonder, Inc. in 1999, who split a number of employees into a new in-house brand called Griptonite Games around the time they were absorbed into and rebranded as Amaze Entertainment.
As with most other companies tied to these Plug n Play games, Griptonite Games' output was mostly comprised of licensed ports to handheld systems, starting with the Game Boy Color, and eventually working with the Nintendo DS. It was also around this time that they made the Star Wars Plug n Play game featured today.
In 2005, the Griptonite Games brand was retired, and all future games were marketed under Amaze Entertainment(including the Original Trilogy game.) ...Until 2007, when Amaze was acquired by Foundation 9, who renamed them back to Griptonite Games, making THAT name the dominant brand! And then in 2011, everything was absorbed into Glu Mobile, and the name, though technically still active, was dropped entirely.
This has been the story of a brand that was formed out of a brand, dropped by the brand, BECAME the brand, and was then absorbed by and completely demolished by another brand. ...I eagerly await the movie version starring Russell Brand.
As with the Star Wars: The Original Trilogy game, and most Plug n Play games in general, the console is comprised of 5 separate minigames:
Droid Invasion
Coruscant Attack
Grievous Onslaught
Gunship Battle
Utapau Chase
All of which are selectable from a set of holographic stills from the film(again similarly to the last console) in front of a shot of... Mustafar, I guess? I literally haven't seen the movie since I saw it in theaters in 2005, so excuse me if I'm not familiar with every character, location, and event in these games.
In Droid Invasion, you control Obi Wan Kenobi as he fends off waves of Battle Droids and Super Battle Droids on the worlds of Naboo, Geonosis, and Mustafar, by using his lightsaber to reflect the droids' lasers back at them before they can cross the boundary line. Think Space Invaders mixed with Breakout and *insert Trump joke here.*
This game might SOUND fun, but it's also one of the most frustrating of the lot, mostly from trying to get the lasers to reflect back in the direction you want! Any laser shot back goes off at an angle depending on what part of the lightsaber it hits, meaning you have to be VERY precise with when and where you raise your saber, otherwise, it'll completely miss ANY droid scrolling down from the screen!
In order to hit the droids coming straight at you, you need to have the lasers hit the EXACT center of your lightsaber, roughly where Obi-Wan's head is. Just TRY to be this precise when you have the Separatist forces swarming you on all sides! And you can't run in this position either. Just slowly shimmy from side-to-side as the droids quickly overwhelm you. ...Joy.
What makes this even more difficult is that the lasers travel too slowly. ...I know that SOUNDS good, since that gives you more time to run over and reflect incoming projectiles, but that means you can quickly find yourself walled in by laser blasts or accidentally run into one trying to avoid another! So while you're trying to keep the droids from crossing the line, you're ALSO contending with lasers that have ALREADY crossed the line! I think it goes without saying that getting anywhere in this game takes a little skill and a LOTTA luck!
And yet, with how hard it is to repel the increasing waves of enemies, the end bosses are stupefyingly easy! You LITERALLY just stand there without moving with your lightsaber up and reflect all lasers back at it and its support drones! It never charges forward and it never tries to cross the line, so as long as you have a vice grip on the button(or you clamped it down as you went to make a sandwich), all enemies will eventually wade into the reflected lasers and blow themselves up! ...Imagine if Star Wars was just about trying to avoid the Stormtroopers, and by the time the heroes got to the throne room, Vader and the Emperor died of old age... That's this game.
By the way, isn't this just the cutest sprite for young Obi Wan ever?! He looks like one of those Galactic Hero figures! ...No joke. Just observation.
To aid you in this venture of trying to get the lasers to fire straight while legions of robots surround you, there are three power-ups(plus extra lives) that are randomly dropped by these red Battle Droids: Double Bladed Lightsaber, Shield, and Force Push.
The Shield is absolutely useless as you'll have your lightsaber up most of the time anyway. The Force Push is REALLY useful if you still have a large amount of troops to take out that have nearly crossed the boundary.
But, for my money, the Double Bladed Lightsaber is the best of the three. It extends your range, it's easier to determine where the lasers need to hit to go straight, and it carries over from level to level. It doesn't make the game easier by much, but with how fast things advance on you, every bit counts!
In later levels, Destroyers and these erratic floating things show up the make the game even harder than it was, so unless you've mastered the art of reflecting lasers(or you're a geometry major), your victory over the first world or two will be short lived.
In all honesty, this game isn't too bad. It's difficult, but it's a clever and fluid blend of two different gameplay styles, with just enough variety to keep you going through the repeating cycles of planets. It's by no means original, but it's a good challenge that faithfully uses mechanics from the Star Wars series itself. Overall, we're off to a pretty good start. The Force is starting out strong with this console!
Next up is Coruscant Attack, where you once again control Obi-Wan, but in his ship, as he rids the area above the planet of Separatist forces. Shoot down enough of them to make it to the next section, and avoid getting shot down yourself. Simple as that.
The gameplay for this game feels like a mix between Time Pilot and the "Red Leader" game from the previous Star Wars compilation. It's a free-roaming shooter where you have to actively hunt down and destroy all enemy ships. ...And that's the long and short of it. It's a game where I actually would have minded a few more hazards, as most of the time, you're just shooting at empty space! It's not the worst offender I've ever seen(I'm looking at you "Sharks" from Action 52) but it does feel mostly empty and unengaging, especially compared to the last game and the "Red Leader" game from last year.
Though maybe all that empty space is a necessity, since the controls in this game are WEIRD! Instead of actually guiding the ship around, the game uses a 360° control method that spins the ship in a circle while always keeping it centered in the middle of the screen. This results in a fluid "gliding" movement, meaning no stops, no sudden turns, and no flips in direction, making controlling this thing with a stick REALLY awkward! This is a game that's much more at home with a dial controller than a thumbstick...
Especially since you can easily end up veering into enemy ships without even noticing...
I guess I can give it props for including multiple parallax scrolling planes, with stars in the foreground speeding by much faster than the background. Plus, if you fly around long enough, you can find the attack over Coruscant in progress! ...It's a static image, but they did bother, and it looks great(for a highly compressed image)!
The power-ups are comprised of Double Laser, Slow Time, and Anakin Aid. Double Laser doubles your laser(duh), but doesn't seem to increase damage or reload speed, so it's mostly pointless. Slow Time slows everything down, which does give you more time to react to oncoming hazards, but since you're looking for ships to shoot down, this makes the process take longer... The power-up to look for is Anakin aid, which gives you a companion ship that also shoots lasers AND acts as an additional health point, a la Galaga. Find this and avoid getting hit for as long as possible, and you're on top of the world! ...I mean, I guess you technically were already, being in space and all, but now you're figuratively AND literally! ...I suck at these analogies...
After you've blown the target number of ships into stardust, Obi Wan then warps(lightspeeds?) to Part 2, where the goal is to destroy this large battleship by blowing up all turrets on the hull. ...This is harder than it sounds, considering that most of the turrets fire microscopic white bullets at Obi Wan, which can easily blend into the background and not be noticeable until they've blown him up... I'm such a fan of games with "invisible bullets" like these...
Unlike the last game, there are only two unique stages here. The second battleship appears to be a Trade Federation vessel, which throws the additional hazard of heat-seeking missiles at you, on top of an increased amount of turrets!
If only we had a 9-year-old with no combat experience in a yellow starfighter that fires randomly. He'll save the day!
But no matter which ship you engage in combat with, the end result is the same glorious outcome: the enormous ship exploding while Obi Wan lightspeeds away from the blast!
Later levels increase the number of rounds you need to fight off the fighters before you reach the battleship, as well as introduce these Protoss Carrier-like ships that spew out these annoying little ships that you can't outrun and will finish you off in a heartbeat. Luckily, this is where you'll become aware that a steady trickle of bombs is leaking out of the rear of the ship, so as long as you fly straight with relative timing, you'll be able to knock them out of the sky faster than a Zerg Rush. ...Whatever I just meant by that...
This game is overall pretty... Meh. I guess I should give it points for being a free-roaming shooter and its variety in levels and enemies, but the controls REALLY ruin this one. You never feel like you have complete control over the ship, so most deaths are cheap and frustrating. Plus the repetition of the same two battleships can get really old and hunting down each ship just becomes a chore. Maybe I'm just spoiled by Red Leader from the Original Trilogy console, but if I were to play this console again, I'd give this one a pass.
Next is Grievous Onslaught, the first game I can actually place as a point in the film. This is the beginning of the movie, where Anakin and Obi Wan board Grievous' ship to take down Count Dooku and rescue Chancellor Palpatine. And it plays mostly like that as well.
I don't really have a genre to fit this into. I'd call it a top-down adventure game, but that would require a little more substance. Imagine if you took one of the monster rush rooms from a sprite-based Legend of Zelda game and repeated it ad nauseum. That's this game.
The goal here is to wade through room after room of Super Battle Droids and Destroyer Droids until you eventually find Chancellor Palpatine. To unlock the next area, you need to clear the entire room of droids using only your lightsaber. ...Which somehow has a shorter range than the sword from the Zelda games I just made a comparison to...
This is also one of the more frustrating games contained here. Since you have a lightsaber, you have a choice of either slicing through the droids or reflecting the lasers back at them. ...However, as I pointed out, the lightsaber's range is insultingly short, requiring you to basically be right on top of them before you're in range to do any damage, which leaves you open to being shot by a random laser blast. One hit death, and the room starts over...
Reflecting the droids' lasers right back at them is a little easier, and isn't as unpredictable and precise as Droid Invasion, but standing in one place, swinging wildly, leaves you open to attacks from other sides as well, who would like nothing more than to help you reenact R2-D2's exploding dome from Return of the Jedi. ...Only your chrome's not as easily replaceable...
So instead of going after the droids, let them come to you! If you stay in one corner of the room, most droids will just walk right into your lightsaber, plus you cut off two directions the droids could shoot you from. So just hang out in a corner for a while and show everyone why the Empire opted for Clone Troopers instead of Battle Droids...
But you still need to be quick about it. If you spend roughly 30 seconds in the same room, General Grievous pops up to go Spelunky Ghost and one-hit kill you, even if you have a shield. So don't take more time than you need to kill off the droids and don't bother looking for secrets in empty rooms. There aren't any. I checked. ...And you're just going to check for yourselves now, aren't you?
Power-ups are again dropped by the red droids, which cycle through the three available options until picked up: Force Push, Shield, and Stun.
I've already joked about how only one power-up in each game actually does anything, but here, I REALLY mean it! The Force Push just shoves the droid a few feet, still enabling it to shoot you, and the Stun briefly(and I mean BRIEFLY) freezes all the enemies, not giving you enough time to wipe them all out and most likely putting you in front of a droid ready to fire. The Shield, on the other hand, protects you from both the droids and a few lasers they fire, making you practically invincible as you wait for the droids to walk into your swinging lightsaber! Find and activate one as quickly as possible, then keep another one on hand at all times to activate when the first wears off. As long as you don't assume this will protect you from stupidity, you'll get far with this method.
Eventually, you'll reach the room where Palpatine is being kept, where he shouts for Anakin to help him. You then go through basically the same routine of blowing away all the droids in the room until there's none left.
Your main targets are the guards on either side of Palpatine, but DON'T try to attack them, or even get within 10 feet of them. In their regular state, they're invincible and will release an attack that either instantly depletes your shield
Or paralyzes you, which usually means an instant kill for the Super Battle Droid in front of you...
Instead, first clear out the waves of droids coming towards you. This triggers a short animation where Palpatine exclaims "The ship has been hit!" Then wait for debris to fall on the guards, run towards one of them, and wail on it with your lightsaber! If you get off enough hits, it'll vanish.
Clear the next wave of droids out, wait for the debris to fall again, repeat with the other guard, and congratulations! You've saved the Chancellor!
...Whom they then drop through a trap lift into another room, much to Anakin's surprise. ...Guess you gotta enter the next room and start all over again!
Later levels include Destroyer Droids with shield generators. ...But seeing as how these guys just stand in one place and fire, they're surprisingly easier than the regular Super Battle Droids! Just clear out the other droids, then stand in front of these guys and deflect a few lasers back at them! Annoying? Yes. Challenge? No.
And in case you're wondering, yes, this is what you see EVERY time you free Palpatine. Each time you defeat the guards, he's pulled away into another room, forcing you to continue advancing through the ship until you find him again! Lather, rinse, repeat.
...In other words...
I actually played for a good, long while to see if we eventually DO save the Chancellor. ...But considering I completed this stage a ridiculous number of times and each time resulted in the same "They've Moved the Chancellor" message, I'm going to guess there's as much chance of freeing the Chancellor as there is of accessing the original Smash TV's Pleasure Dome...
This game is... Ok, I guess? I like the exploration aspect of it, and that the sequence of the rooms actually varies from playthrough to playthrough. ...That said, they're still all the same rooms with the same enemies and same objectives. It doesn't matter which direction you're led in, the Chancellor's location is always after a set number of cleared rooms, so the maze-like layout plays into it absolutely zero percent... It's like a Rogue-esque exploration game. ...Without the Rogue-like elements or exploration... Plus, once you grab a Shield and master fighting in a corner, the game becomes almost too easy and repetitive. I say "almost", because you will eventually slip up and die, but by then, you'll likely be tired of this particular game and want to move on. ...Which we will now do.
But first, a slight intermission to show you that this is a console that does, in fact, save scores. Using the exact same score board and graphics as the Original Trilogy console, no less. ...However, they can't seem to make up their minds what the background music for the High Score table is! Sometimes, you'll get the Imperial March(which is also the menu theme), and other times, you'll get the Main Theme. There seems to be no pattern to this, as I've gotten both versions whether my initials made it to the High Scores or not, so the inclusion of both tracks just seems redundant... Still, it is the only music across the console, so I guess I shouldn't be complaining...
Next, Gunship Battle, where we return to the genericness of events simply happening in the movie's universe. You control a Republic Gunship, fighting off Separatist forces on Naboo and Geonosis while air lifting Clone Commandos to take over enemy bases.
Insert "In Ur Base" and "All Your Base" jokes here...
I don't think I've ever played a side-scrolling RTS like what this appears to be, so I really don't have a game to compare this to. My best comparison is if you mixed Lemmings and Baldies together, then added a weapon-enabled transport from Starcraft that you manually controlled. ...It's a game style that takes a while to get used to, is what I'm getting at.
Heck, just check out this additional wall of text included in the instructions that's needed to understand what's going on...
So how this game actually works is as follows: You control this gunship, whose job is to collect these micro-sprites of Clone Troopers by landing right in front of a group that spawns outside the headquarters or (if controlled)midpoint, and waiting for them to very slowly walk into your hold.
Then you fly past all enemy forces to arrive at the enemy's stronghold and land your ship again, hopefully not getting blasted into smithereens by the battleships, bombers, cannons, and Super Battle Droids in between you and their base.
Once you land, the Troopers leave the ship and infiltrate the enemy's base, hopefully not getting bombed by flying enemies or shot down by ground troops. Get three in the base and you've won the battle, progressing to the next level!
Obviously, the game isn't as easy as I might have made it sound, with the first problem being even getting the troopers IN the ship! To grab their attention, you need to land within range of the group, right in the middle of a huge battle where bombs and droids can pop up sporadically and reduce you and/or the group to cinders in seconds! Every time you land, you take a huge risk of being near-instantly killed or just wasting your time because the group has just been annihilated...
And once you have the Troopers in your hold, you can forget about stopping to pick up more, as every trooper you previously grabbed will exit the ship and will most likely be blown up by enemy forces before you can take off and land to again pick them up... So you better hope you can grab all three at the same time, otherwise it's going to be along trip back-and-forth for more Troopers. ...Which will likely be cut short from the barrage of projectiles coming your way...
Then there's the matter of even getting to the end. Ships will spawn seemingly out of nowhere and rain lasers or bombs on you and your troops, while cannons on the ground will aim death from below as you're trying to dodge the air threats. Not to mention the troops on the ground that will gladly mow down the troops you're trying to pick up or that you just dropped off...
Needless to say, unless you know exactly what you're doing(and you're immensely lucky), your ship will be blown up more times than you'd care to count and you'll need to start the level back from the beginning each time! It's REALLY annoying to have an action game where winning is based more on luck than on skill...
Luckily, there do exist ways to make victory a little more possible. The ship is equipped with lasers and bombs, allowing for both air and ground attacks. The lasers in particular are perfect for fighting off the enemy's ground forces(since your troops seem too stupid to recognize danger) and clearing the area for the Troopers to enter the ship.
Plus, as with the enemy base, enemy cannons can be taken over if a Trooper enters one, allowing for additional cover from air forces. ...But be warned that enemy troops can do the same to YOUR cannons, so don't assume your large, overpowered cannon makes you invincible. ...You know what I mean...
Also, if you're running low on health, you can park your ship on the rooftop of the base/midpoint for a quick refuel. IMMENSELY helpful after being hit by a huge barrage that appears out of nowhere...
However, what most of the game boils down to is tracking down a troop of Troopers and getting them to the other end of the level, bombing and shooting down everything in your path. Once you master the "Run, Forrest, Run" strategy, you have a reasonable chance of winning.
Later levels start you off further away from the enemy's base, with more buildings(including the midpoint) under Separatist control, meaning it's harder to get your troops from A to B. However, since more troops spawn at the headquarters or midpoint when a group is taken out, the only real way to lose is to have your life bank depleted. ...Possibly also if you let the other side take over your base, but I didn't play long enough to find out.
I WANT to like this game, and that's what makes it so disappointing. This had the potential to be the most fleshed-out, immersive, complex, even unique game on this console, especially with RTS and base-managing elements I've never seen before in any game, let alone a Plug n Play! If they had included some sort of HUD and currency system to detect troops and enemies and to gather materials to build and buy improvements, this would have felt much more like a real game, and would have expanded on the elements already present. ...As is, I feel like I'm playing HALF a game, like they made this generic side-scrolling shooter, they had a little time left before it had to be added, so they decided to implement RTS elements, but ran out of time before they could fully realize what they set out to do. Now it just feels like an unfinished game that could have been great, but instead has most of its elements rendered pointless while its main gameplay is repetitive and frustrating. ...In other words, it's the Fable 3 of this console...
Finally, we have the last game on this Plug n Play: Utapau Chase, where Obi-Wan is pursuing General Grievous on his lizard mount while dodging other speederbikes trying to force him off the path. ...It is also the most tedious and boring game featured yet...
This game plays much like a top-down driving game, like the original Spy Hunter, or every other game on a knockoff 8-bit Plug n Play system(which we will be getting to soon...) The lizard continuously runs up the screen as you try to steer out of the way of buildings, troops on bikes, and other hazards. ...But for some reason, the difficulty present in the other games we've seen is surprisingly absent from this one! All the bikers do is push you into buildings and the sides of the screen, and not that hard either, since you can either push back or shoot them without resistance! So as long as you don't intentionally aim for a building, you can get to the end basically without a scratch.
There do exist pits, but the lizard automatically jumps over them, so they're just another pointless addition...
Besides the bikers, there are also turrets that shoot barely visible blue projectiles at you, which can easily cause some damage to your mount.
But in case you thought that running into buildings and turrets might actually pose a threat in this game, your health regenerates almost instantly! You can just rush through an area with projectiles and buildings on all sides, and have all evidence erased within five seconds! ...Even Red Dead Redemption requires a few seconds out of reach of danger before Marsden's regeneration kicks in...
And on top of THAT, there also exist Armor power-ups, which gives you an extra health bar until depleted. ...Which can be quick, but since your health regenerates, you don't even notice...
Speaking of which, the other two power-ups in this game make what is already a stupefyingly easy game even easier! The first Laser Up, which upgrades Obi Wan's projectiles.
...Yes, the main weapon in this game is a repeating laser, which can be upgraded by passing over the Laser Up icons to fire multiple lasers.
Eventually creating a spread of several lasers that fire in all frontal directions and annihilating everything in your path! ...A little hypocritical from the guy who killed Grievous with a blaster, then threw it away in disgust for "being too primitive..." ...You know, not like a league of space druids who wield what are basically laser swords in a universe of easily aimed and fired projectile weapons. Including giant space stations capable of wiping out entire systems...
And the second power-up is Extra Life. ...Because on top of the regenerating life, the armor, the laser spread, the useless pits, AND the bikers that do little/no damage, we also need extra lives to keep the game going! ...What? They didn't assign the other button to just skip to the next level whenever you press it?!
Actually, the other button is a tail whip attack, which pushes surrounding bikers away. ...I don't use Tail Whip in Pokemon, and I didn't see any use for it here...
The game's so easy, that, as long as you pay attention to where you're running, the only real challenge you'll get is the end boss, who does take a good number of hits, fire a lot of projectiles, and can end up killing you.
Especially in later levels, where he does this sweep across the screen that'll kill you if you don't avoid it.
And when you die, you start the boss fight all over again! ...I know I should be upset about this, but I'm just glad SOMETHING in this game isn't patronizing me... These segments are the only points where any fun or challenge is present!
...But even these segments, they couldn't leave alone, since as you're running, the streets are still paved with power-ups, including all the Extra Lives needed to induce nausea! Boss fight too hard? Just avoid him for a while, pick up anything green coming your way, and you'll have all the time in the world! It's like playing Tetris with every block shape being a long stick...
Eventually, you'll learn the pattern and beat the boss every time, then it's back to running through the streets of Utapau until the next fight. Lather, rinse, repeat, until all desire to live has vanished...
I actually played this title longer than any other game on this console, just to see if something eventually did change or if I could actually beat it. ...Nay to both. I couldn't even tell if there was a change after the third level, and here I played up to Level 10! I finally gave up and committed suicide, since by that time, I was convinced that way the only out the game was ever going to give me...
...Do I even need to say that this is the worst game on this console? I think I made my point pretty clear... I guess they made this easy to give you a break from the other games and their arcade-like difficulty level, but they made it TOO EASY! Every second, you're basically handed the "win button", as only by intentionally throwing the game will you ever hope to fail! So unless you're into games that repeat ad nauseum and death is the only way out, I'd go Order 66 on this certain title...
And that's the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Plug n Play console. It's really not bad for a first attempt, just as the movie wasn't bad for an attempt to finally get something in the prequel trilogy right. Both of them tried for an original and fun touch, which in some ways, they succeeded in, while in some, they failed miserably. ...However, no matter what, the Original Trilogy will always be superior.
In BOTH cases...
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Design: The design is a nicely modded basic controller, sort of similar in size and bulk to an original Xbox controller(but much less unwieldy...) The controls are nicely laid out and reachable by pretty much any size hands, including my larger-than-most size, and nothing feels too cramped or needlessly complicated. It also feels secure and comfortable clasping the two handgrips on either side, despite them being made of hard plastic with no rubber grip. Depending on which console you get, you have a choice of Darth Vader, R2-D2, Yoda, or General Grievous all staring at you disapprovingly as your skills are deemed unworthy for the games they set forth... I'm also impressed that each character is given his own paint job, with slight cosmetic differences besides the rubber face in the middle, as it really does make each console stand out and look unique. ...However, it ALSO makes them appear to be completely different games, which is why I own three of them in the first place... So while the shape isn't as custom as most other consoles we've seen, they're all unique enough to be recognizable as Star Wars consoles and each have their own special build to the overall design. Much better than sticking stickers on either side of a touchpad, amiright?
Controls: I'm just going to give this category a perfect 5/5 for one major addition: ANALOG CONTROLS! You have NO idea how much more comfortable it is to play most games with a thumbstick that responds to your every movement, no matter how slight. Saves on thumb wear as well, not having to press down hard on a directional pad. Besides the thumbstick I've already levied so much praise toward, the buttons are big enough to press without much finger movement, yet close enough so your thumb doesn't have to dart very far between them, and all button presses are responsive. Everything is as controls should be. ...But usually aren't for these consoles...
Music & Sound: We have the EXACT same tracks from the Original Trilogy game, just switched so the Imperial March is the menu theme and the Main Theme plays for the High Scores. ...Most of the time. And, also like that game, there's no other music present for any of the games, meaning that a lot of action is occurring on screen, yet there's nothing to emphasize it! I guess the games are action-packed enough that you wouldn't notice(except for the Utapau Chase, which DESPERATELY needed music), so while music would have been a plus, I guess it's not sorely missed. The sound effects all also sound like they would later be used for the Original Trilogy game, with the same explosions, grunts, lasers, lightsabers, etc. I know it's not fair to judge a game's originality based on its sequel, but I played the Original Trilogy first, so it's a little hard not to be a little fatigued hearing the same sounds again. ...Still, as with the other game, they sound like the real effects, just bit-crushed to fit on a less powerful console, so even if I've heard them before, they sound just fine. Overall, same verdict as the last game: Sounds great, wish there was more of it. ...But a point subtracted for not having spoken dialog.
Graphics: Again, I feel bad for scoring this category after playing the Original Trilogy, as those were some of the best graphics I've ever seen for a Plug n Play system! These come close, but are not as developed as the latter. They still look good, don't get me wrong, but while the latter put a lot of emphasis on detail and even life-like movement, everything in this console feels like a cartoon. Everything feels like the Clone Wars TV show instead of the movie, so it's much more cartoonish and for little kids. ...Which considering how dark Episode III was, that might have been an intentional choice. Still, everything looks the way it should and there is a good amount of detail where they could. I especially like the large battle scene above Coruscant in Coruscant Attack, the little teeny Troopers and Battle Droids from Gunship Battle, and chibi Obi Wan from Droid Invasion. So despite not having as many frames of animation in the sprites and the lack of "realistic" detail in most of the backgrounds, everything looks fine. It's not SNES quality this time, but it's definitely at least Genesis.
Gameplay: I already gave a brief opinion of each game in the main body, but I'll quickly give it again here. Droid Invasion was a fun little arcade game combining Space Invaders and Breakout, while including power-ups that gave it a Star Wars feel. It wasn't too exciting, but it was still something I'd be fine playing for a short while. Corscant Attack was an ok space shooter, with the interesting mechanic of exploring space to find the enemies. However, the control made it awkward to move the ship around and ended up killing this game for me. Grievous Onslaught was fun at first, but could get really repetitive once you figured out the strategy to get further in the game. I guess with its Rogue-like look and exploration feel, I just expected more from the gameplay than "clear out each room and reach the Chancellor at the end." Gunship Attack reeked of wasted opportunity, as it was an interesting RTS take on a side-scroller that didn't feel finished. Despite me liking the style, it was brutally difficult, yet overly simplistic, and once you figured out what to do, there were only two level styles, so I wasn't tempted to continue the game for much longer... And Utapau Chase was the worst and most stupefyingly easy game on the console. Nuff said. So as you can gather from my synopses of the games, the gameplay for each I thought was rather "Meh". Above average, yes, and I'll sooner play these than the copy/pasted puzzle games prominent on so many other consoles, but with their brutal difficulty and lack of variety in the level and enemy designs, they're not as exciting as they should have been. I'm glad they used this experience to improve their styles of gameplay for the Original Trilogy console, though.
Replay Value: They're all endless arcade games, and the console saves high scores, so there is enough replay value here to keep coming back. ...However, with the brutal difficulty of each game(besides Utapau Chase), and the general lack of excitement across the console, it's not incredibly likely you'd want to come back. Unless you absolutely want to achieve a world record high score to show off the the world, or you just want to beat your friends/cousins/siblings into submission. There's not as much multiplayer potential with each game, so it avoids that particular problem I had with the Original Trilogy, but there's not much potential, period, across each game, so if you do get far, you'll eventually find yourself fighting off boredom and fatigue... If the Original Trilogy is Episode V level of action, this is easily an Episode II.
Overall:
I want to give this console higher marks, if just because it uses the Star Wars license well and the controls are some of the best I've ever seen with one of these consoles, but the games are relatively unremarkable and a pain to attempt to play. I guess I can't get too mad at it, since it's a first attempt and made during the beginning of the Plug n Play games craze, so they didn't quite know what to do with it, but when I had more fun playing G3 My Little Pony than friggin Star Wars, there's something wrong here. I'm just glad that they improved on their game making abilities as they went along, practically perfecting it with the Original Trilogy and giving us a series of consoles that all have fun and unique gameplay styles, all of which we'll be exploring as new Star Wars media is released! ...I just wish they put the same amount of effort into the game they released SIX different versions of...
And that's the whole story. ...Except that it's NOT! We still have one more thing to look at with these consoles before this year vanishes for good.
See you in a short while.
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